CORONATION STREET

How realistic can we expect our soaps to be? When they want to draw attention to a major medical or social issue, producers consult with professionals in order to get things right, and they usually do a fine job in raising awareness. Cancer, Alzheimer’s, alcoholism, schizophrenia, literacy... No subject is too great for the genre.

But when it comes to anything to do with the law, storylines are invariably laughable. Last week, Coronation Street delivered another of its joke courtroom scenes that featured the shortest murder trial in history. Emmerdale tends to pull out a beige coat from the costume department when it wants to convey Serious Detective Alert. Lawyers, judges, coppers – nearly every person from the justice system is straight out of Trumpton Academy.

It’s a shame. We live in times in which most people bask in the dubious judgment arena of social media; never has it been more important that people understand the nittygritty of actual legal semantics, but it seems to be an area that soap leaves well alone.

Finally, how come lawyers or coppers never go to the Rovers, The Vic or The Woolpack?

ANNA EMERGES FROM COMA – HOW CAN THEY TELL?

David appears relatively unscathed following the explosion. I thought his greatest distress was being locked in a wine cellar with not a corkscrew in sight. But just as one psycho is contained, another comes into her own – Caz. After telling people that Maria’s been sending her abusive texts, she disappears. Then Maria returns to her flat to find blood on the walls. It seems excessive to set someone up for murder because they told you to find somewhere else to live, but they love psychos in Weatherfield.

Everyone’s talking about how bad Anna’s

injuries are, but to me she looks as if she’s had a run-in with a jar of raspberry jam. When she wakes, it doesn’t take her long to tell Kevin they’re over as she doesn’t want to be a burden (inset); my worry is that everyone will starve now the walking food machine is out of action. Gary sees that telling David he doesn’t blame him for the crash (above) is the fastest route to Sarah’s boudoir. Someone explain that a pint and a bag of crisps would be just as effective.

Excitement of the week: Yasmeen discovers unsavoury facts about Sharif. A bit like ITV did – Marc Anwar (Sharif) has been sacked for posting ‘racially offensive’ tweets.