BLACK FRIDAY

Get me to the church on time? That looks very unlikely for Carmel (pictured), who does everything she can to avoid Shakil’s funeral. First she gets distracted by the youth club; then she goes missing, despite Kush’s pleas to her to attend. Will Denise track her down and, if she does, will she be able to persuade her to go? Hmm. I doubt Denise’s powers of persuasion with any person or creature on the planet. Let’s just say if she’d been Head of Animals on Noah’s Ark, they would have gone in one by one.

Talking of bad advisers, Max seeks counsel from Stacey – this time about his relationship with Rainie. That’s likely to yield the kind of results you’d get asking Hannibal Lecter to advise you on the vegetarian options at dinner. When Donna learns that Martin and Stacey have given Max a reference, she questions Rainie’s childcare abilities. I’d question Donna’s ability to take care of a stall. Has anyone ever had such bad taste? How has she ever sold anything? After a moment of passion (come on, it’s Max; he was never going to stay dormant for long), Rainie sets up Donna, but Max threatens she won’t get a penny if she messes up again. Has Rainie fallen for the ginger Lothario, or is he too focused on the end goal to notice? Trust me. Either way, he won’t stay fully clothed for long.

Will Jack and Mel realise the marriage is a sham when Rainie invites them for a slapup meal? I’d be wary of any sentence involving the words slap-up and Max. Methinks we’re not talking chicken a l’orange here.