CORONATION STREET

The ladies of Soapland appear to have missed the #MeToo movement that encourages women to stand up to abuses inflicted on them by men. But maybe they don’t need it; they’re a tough bunch who, frankly, are more terrifying than the men in their lives. Abuse has been dealt with extremely well over the years, but the subject is not as verbally discussed as it is in real life – a bit #MeNeither. For the most part, you wouldn’t want to meet these women down a dark alley at night.

Coronation Street’s Tracy has committed one murder (that we know of) and has no hesitation in decking a man – as Steve found out on his wedding day. You’d think he’d have learned his lesson after their first marriage; but no.

EastEnders’ Sharon is a cross between Lady Macbeth and Boadicea, and Kat’s not far behind. Emmerdale has always been awash with female monsters, and the return of Kim Tate has resurrected the genre to even greater heights. Not only would you not want to meet her down a dark alley at night, men should fear having their throats cut by her barbed comments alone. Her cutting tongue puts a samurai sword to shame.

LIFE/DEATH DECISIONS

Let’s be honest, Ken was never going to keep his mouth shut. Tell this man something in confidence and it’s Sermon on the Mount by the end of the day. When Sinead collapses and is taken to hospital, he spills the beans to Daniel that she has cervical cancer. Daniel is none too pleased his dad kept this from him, and with Sinead (pictured, with Daniel and Ken) intent on refusing treatment to protect the baby, he has a tough road ahead (amazing performances from Katie McGlynn and Rob Mallard). It’s left to Peter to implore Daniel to be the better man – which is like the Devil telling Jesus to man

up. Sinead comes round and goes for a chemo session and, at the factory, Sarah suggests they enter Sinead’s designs in the Big Nightwear Competition to raise money for charity. Given that everything they make at the factory is too small for Barbie, I’m not optimistic.

It looks as if Carla and Peter are back on track when she discovers his plan to offload his share of the factory and she tells him they make ‘a good team’. That phrase is the kiss of death to any relationship in soapland; the only team player Carla should be looking for is one with a spare kidney, because the way she’s downing the red wine again, she’ll need one.