EASTENDERS

Why are soapland’s siblings so disloyal to their nearest and dearest? Far from the adage that blood is thicker than water, their relationships are less solid than air. Remember when EastEnders’ Phil did the dirty on his bruvver Grant with wife Sharon? Well, Sharon is no spring chicken in the unfaithful department, as we discovered when Grant got bruvver revenge two years ago. Ever heard of the word ‘No’, Shazza?

A couple of weeks ago, Max blew a gasket when he discovered that brother Jack had slept with Rainie. You’d think he’d be grateful. Despite the unusual arranged marriage to the ex-druggie, surely he’d have gone down on bended knee and given thanks for the arrival of anyone who took her off his hands for five minutes (and Jack’s been more than willing to do that with a lot of ladies).

One thing all siblings have in common is they eventually forgive each other, whether the offences be murder, theft, bigamy or adultery – although Corrie’s Sally might not see it that way now Gina is intent on stealing Nice But Dim Tim from under her nose.

LIKE A KAT OUT OF HELL

You can die but you can’t hide. When Kat bumps into Maurice, a friend of her dead dad Charlie, she’s suspicious about his behaviour. That’s no surprise, given there are skeletons forever leaping out of closets, it’s a mystery everyone doesn’t just break into a chorus of, ‘Dem bones, dem bones, dem dry bones’ every episode. When a traumatised Kat leaves on her moped, she crashes into an elderly man (pictured) and is left unconscious. Doubtless her make-up will save her: who needs a helmet when you have a skull-load of mascara for protection. It’s perhaps the first time someone has

leapt on a moped/motorbike and hasn’t ended up in Ibiza running a bar (oh, how we miss you, Ronnie, and your revved up runners to the Spanish coastline).

Even though Kat comes to, Maurice’s bombshell has a huge impact and it’s not long before Kat hits the bottle at E20 (you have to be really desperate to go there). Life goes from bad to worse when she turns up at the Vic drunk (doesn’t everyone? Isn’t that why they sell so few drinks – people are hitting the vodka in the bath beforehand?). Will an unexpected visitor put a smile on her face? Not without resorting to facial forceps, methinks.