SOAP WATCH

The notable absence of key family members at pivotal moments is something all three soaps are guilty of. Whenever any character gets married, the church or registry office is always packed to the rafters with their neighbours and work colleagues. Where are the parents? Grandparents? Aunts, uncles and cousins? The pub landlord or shop keeper is always way ahead of any blood relative on the guest list.

In Coronation Street Sinead Tinker got married, went through a traumatic pregnancy and had cancer treatment with no mention of any parents or siblings to help. And it may not have been a genuine wedding, but there was no sign of Mel’s family in the church in East Enders when she set up Ray.

Even when parents are official cast members they can be suspiciously absent during their offspring’s (numerous) times of need. Emmerdale’s Lisa Dingle didn’t put in an appearance when it was revealed that Belle, her only child, was shacked up with a secret serial killer who’d bumped off half the village. With such neglectful parenting is it any wonder soap characters are so messed up?