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I’M HAPPY CRESS MARRIED THE OTHER HARRY
Prince Harry’s old pal Jacobi Anstruther on the pressure his recently married sister Cressida Bonas had to face under the royal spotlight
Jacobi Anstruther-gough-Calthorpe has an extensive name – and an extensive family. He has ‘an army of sisters’, he admits (eight with his halfsisters and step-sisters) and ten nieces and nephews. He gets the irony. ‘I pride myself on environmental work and sustainability, yet my family seems to have been a great contributor to over-population,’ he says.
As a child he longed for a brother, but now he’s incredibly grateful for all those sisters. ‘When I was a little boy I got annoyed with my stepmother. She kept banging out more girls when all I wanted was a brother. But actually, in hindsight, I’m very lucky to have that support. We’re all incredibly close and we have an amazing family set-up. That level of female involvement in my upbringing has probably very much shaped who I am and what I do. That emotional intelligence you learn from having so many women around you is a great asset.’
The Anstruther-gough-Calthorpes’ society connections have kept the family in the gossip columns for years. Old Harrovian Jacobi, 37, went to prep school with Prince William and spent a lot of his twenties falling out of nightclubs with Prince Harry. He came close to being related to the royals by marriage. One of his sisters, actress Cressida Bonas (they share the same mother, former 60s IT Girl Lady Mary-gaye Curzon), is most well-known for having dated Harry for two years. She recently tied the knot with her old university sweetheart Harry Wentworth-stanley, the son of the Marchioness of Milford Haven, in a small ceremony at Cowdray Park in West Sussex. Jacobi posted an image on Instagram of them riding into the sunset on horseback. Another of his sisters, Isabella, is married to Sam Branson, Richard’s son.
Jacobi’s own life sounds, on paper, a bit Great Gatsby. He left Harrow with a place at university, but decided not to take it up, determined even then that he would be an entrepreneur. He worked in private equity and property development, and at the height of his partying he set up a nightclub venture.
Now he has moved on to the more grown-up world of sound technology and is the driving force behind an ‘audio advance’ called IRIS. What is an audio advance? Well, in the most basic terms, it’s a system that enhances sound quality, claiming to bring to the humble phone the closest replication yet of a live music experience.
The project is supported not by real royals, but rock royals. Queen musicians Roger Taylor and Brian May are investors, with Roger first on board. ‘To get his backing was quite something,’ Jacobi admits. ‘People are sceptical of the technology. People like that have been around the block and think it’s nothing exciting. But we approached Queen’s audio engineer Josh Macrae, who agreed to listen. Then Roger came into the recording studio and we ran through every Queen song ever made, then stuff from the Rolling Stones, and at the end he wanted to invest.’
These days he is mostly based in the States. He seems to live alone, and Tatler called him ‘thrillingly single’, which he can laugh about. ‘I’m really married to what I’m trying to build here. I spend a lot of time on planes. I love all my nieces and nephews and that’s definitely something I want in the future, but I’m not around enough for that now. I work long hours and this is my moment to build my business. I hope that later in life... well, I know I’m not getting any younger, and there is probably an element of me making excuses here. I do want it but the priority now is my work.’
He takes questions about his social standing in good humour. Obviously we get onto the subject of Cressida, and the fact that at one point it seemed she would be walking down the aisle with Prince Harry. Is he glad she didn’t marry him? His answer is carefully considered, but seems to hint at a yes. ‘I think she has the most wonderful husband, a man I respect and admire so much. I’m incredibly fond of Harry [he means Prince Harry] and that whole family. They are wonderful, but I definitely am happy to see her with this amazing man. She’s very happy.’
He did, in the past, express concern that Cressida would struggle to cope with the attention of being a royal bride. No backtracking on that today. ‘I will always believe she’s a very private and sensitive human being. I always worried about her with that level of attention. It takes a certain kind of person to be strong enough to handle it. It is overwhelming. I will always be protective of her. She’s my younger sister. She’s a very special person, a very wise little thing.’
What of that long-standing friendship with Prince Harry? Since he’s now living in LA, presumably the two have linked up? Clearly not. ‘If he’s happy, I’m happy for him. I haven’t really spoken to him for a while, so I can’t really comment. It’s challenging. He’s had a lot of difficult things to deal with in his life. It’s a wonderful position of privilege but there are also challenges that only he can understand.’
How sad that an old friendship seems to have died though. He says this is just life. ‘I think as we grow up we all go off and build our own lives. One of the sad things about getting older is we lose a bit of contact and we get caught up in our own worlds.’
We keep coming back to the subject of his army of sisters. He admits they can be ‘quite intimidating, but they’re nice people. They have been my support network, my constant. Everything, really.’
‘There are challenges only Harry understands’