EMMERDALE

■ DAWNING ON DAWN Poor Harriet. I’m tempted to say that when it comes to men she’s always getting her knickers in a twist, but that seems to be stating the obvious, both literally and metaphorically. It looks as though her vestry trysts with Malone may be ending when Dawn discovers the affair. She insists that unless Harriet (pictured, with Dawn) comes clean to Will, she will reveal all, and it’s not long before she’s down at the police station, telling PC Swirling she wants to make a complaint about a copper. Methinks a visit from the bishop might be on the horizon – the person who always seems to take a rather salacious pleasure in the transgressions of the God flock. There is zero evidence that anything the bishop says makes a blind bit of difference to the men and women of the church getting their dog collars off for the lads and ladettes of the village, but in the moral vacuum that is Emmerdale, someone has to occasionally be seen to be trying. Jamie is in yet another state and tells Belle that Andrea has been blackmailing him over Moira’s hit and run. Belle wants to go to the police, and Jamie is almost relieved. Why? It’ll make zero difference. You could give the village cops a Samurai warrior brandishing a head on the end of his sword and they’d still bring in Cain for questioning. In exciting, revelatory news, we discover who has been accosting Leyla when a dark-clad figure jumps her. And no, it’s not the Milk Tray man.