SOAP WATCH

This is the week that people attempt to stick to the resolutions they’ve made. If there’s one change I’d advise all the residents of soapland to make, it would be to adopt a better work ethic. In today’s climate these people are lucky to even have jobs, but they spend most of their time slacking off!

Coronation Street’s factory and Bistro are a free-for-all, with workers coming and going as they please, and spending more time having tea and cake breaks than they do actually working. The management at both places turn a blind eye to their mates forever popping in for a chat (or a fight).

If Emmerdale’s Al spent half as much time in the office as he did having liaisons in hotel rooms then the Hop might have a few more customers on its books.

Police forces all over the country are overstretched, but you’d never know it from the way Eastenders coppers Jack and Callum have carried on. Their bosses are lucky if they pop into the station once a week in between boozing at the pub and dealing with their tangled love and family lives. n

Jaci Stephen is away