SOAP WATCH

Why, in soapland’s prisons, do most men have a better experience than women? Corrie’s Deirdre, Tracy, Sally, Gail and Fiz (is there any Weatherfield female who hasn’t been inside?) all had a dreadful time; likewise, Eastenders’ Shirley and Janine and Emmerdale’s Charity. Jail for women means sharing a bunk bed with the prison bully and being subjected to all sorts of humiliation by the wardens in charge.

Today’s men have a blast by contrast. Take Corrie’s currently incarcerated Gary. He spent most of last week giving Johnny a guided tour and playing pool. How are fictional prisoners allowed to play, unsupervised, with what could be a vicious weapon? The way Gary was aggressively striking those balls made you fear for what he might do to any passing skull that got in his way.

Maybe it’s a sign of the changing times, because compared to Emmerdale’s Aaron in 2017, Gary is living in five-star luxury. Poor Aaron suffered at the hands of a violent, homophobic inmate; mind you, given what goes on in that village, sometimes prison is actually the safer option.