SOAP WATCH

Finally, December – and it’s beginning to look (and sound) a lot like Christmas. After weeks of talking about tree sponsorship in Eastenders, the photoshoot finally happened. In terms of excitement, this was on a par with declarations of a Brussels sprouts shortage on Christmas Eve, and of course nothing went according to plan.

With an extra child to buy for (how many kids does Phil have now? It’s more of a squad, really), Kat has been worrying that Phil and Sharon’s new grandchild will bring the couple closer together. I wouldn’t worry; not even a hedge cutter could get close to Sharon with those eyelashes.

The big talking point has been Christmas Day and whether anyone will be able to deter Chelsea from marrying Gray. It’s doubtful. She couldn’t hear a penny drop if she won the jackpot on a slot machine.

In Corrie, Summer, Asha and Amy have been making plans for a Christmas Ice Ball (I have no idea…), while Zeedan secured the last pitch at the Christmas market.

And in Emmerdale, they all just carry on drinking. Nothing different from the rest of the year, then.

A CLUCKY ESCAPE

Despite discovering that Denise knew about Vincent’s murder, Kim throws her a hen party. When Kat and Denise (both pictured) discuss the money the latter now owes Phil, Kim overhears and leaves the party. This pair have fallen foul of each other so many times (or should that be fallen fowl amongst hens?), could this be the final straw? Let’s hope so. The fewer people Kim speaks to, the better; if Vincent hadn’t already been killed, rest assured Kim would have talked – or hen-pecked – him to death.

It looks like being a far from happy

Christmas for Stuart when he receives some bad news from the doctor. Sonia, in Florence Nightingale mode, is at hand to comfort him, but is not prepared for his reaction when he snaps. Whack him over the head with your lamp, Florence; he’s got form in the aggression towards women department.

In Christmas mode, Isaac creates a nativity with Lexi as Mary, and although he apologises to Aaron in front of Tiffany, it’s clear he’s not convinced by her new man’s allegiances. Nor me. With his cheap suits and dodgy haircut, he’s like Poundland’s answer to the Krays.