Great? This pyramid is pointless ...
RECENT archaeological digs have excavated a mass of comments posted on the internet — or The Olde Internette, as it was known in those days — many of them going back several centuries.
Historians say that they shed light on contemporary reactions to some of the great events of the time. Here is another small selection from the archives . . . 4000 BC: Invention of the Wheel IT’LL never catch on.
P.D., Mesopotamia. MY mate tried the new so-called wheel, says it’s total rubbish.
Brian, Sumeria I’VE already had enough of mine because when I pushed it, it kept on moving. All in all, a very disappointing product. W.H., Turkey 2560BC: Commencement of the building of The Great Pyramid of Giza I DON’T reckon they’ll get it to much over 12 foot before it falls down, and I speak as a fully qualified engineer. A.T., Egypt THE design is total rubbish. Any idiot can see it’s the wrong way round. They should have made it with the pointy bit at the bottom. Pete, Cairo
1600 BC: Completion of Stonehenge
EYESORE. Tony, Salisbury, Wilts IT’LL be very draughty, come winter.
Ann, Dorset YET another example of hideous modern architecture. How did it get by the planning officers? I bet money changed hands.
Keith, Andover 566 BC: Unveiling of The Hanging Gardens of Babylon THAT’S not what I’d call a garden. No daffs, for a start, and the lawn could do with a good mow. And how about a bird-table? Typical vanity project by King Nebuchadnezzar.
A. Enright, Middlesex COMPLETE waste of taxpayers’ money. Geoff, Droitwich I MUCH prefer my own front garden, which has a decent patio and isn’t vulgar. The Hanging Gardens are much too showy for my taste.
Elaine, Bishop’s Stortford AD 180: Most Roman roads in Britain completed THE old roads were much better. Why all these straight lines? They’re defiling the countryside — and all in the name of foreign businessmen.
Martin, Colchester 500: Round Table created for King Arthur MARK my words, he’ll regret it. We had a round table made for our dining room and it didn’t fit at all. Eventually we got rid of it and replaced it with an old- style rectangular table which was much better and seats six, eight at a pinch. The trouble with a round table is it has no decent corners.
Muriel, Winchester THE King says he wants it so that everyone round the table can have their say. Talk about courting popularity! It’s political correctness gone mad! RS, Littlehampton 625: King Raedwald’s Burial at Sutton Hoo, Suffolk MORE money than sense.
Andy, Woodbridge WASTE of a perfectly good ship.
P.T., Ipswich WE used to do these burials so much better in the old days.
Nick, Norwich 1133: Durham Cathedral opens WHERE are the youth facilities?
E.B., Prestwich HAVE you seen those high ceilings? Why doesn’t anybody ever think about the cleaning staff? Best to pull it down and start again.
Diane, Chester-le-street I’D have preferred something more in keeping with its surroundings. Typical modern architects. What’s wrong with the old materials, like daub and wattle? Ken, Sherburn 1398: Canterbury Tales completed by Geoffrey Chaucer DISGUSTING and depraved. This Chaucer, is he a perve or something?
Well-wisher, Okehampton SIX hundred years from now, they’ll be scratching their heads as to how our society could have fallen so low as to produce such a truly sordid piece of writing. Ordinary Decent Citizen,
Canterbury 1512: Michelangelo completes painting of Sistine Chapel ceiling Average viewer rating: COULD someone please tell me what all the fuss is about? My kid could have done better than that. Michelangelo only got the job because he knew the right people. These days, it’s not what you know, it’s who.
Antonio, Florence NOT bad if you like that sort of thing.
E.W., Venezia FAR too big. It would have looked better normal size, and on the wall, not the ceiling. Disgruntled, Sienna TOTALLY unrealistic, to have all those people flying around in clouds — in the real world, they’d fall to their deaths. Ricardo Dawkini, Rome 1666: Great Fire of London CALL that great? Sorry? I’ve seen better flames in my own fireplace.
William, Tottenham 1717: Handel’s Water Music premiered on River Thames TERRIBLE old racket. Why can’t these modern composers compose a tune you could whistle? P.N. Woking 1739: Dick Turpin hanged GOOD riddance. That’s the last we’ll rectangular table which was much hear of him. H.P., West London