Today’s poem

I READ a recent survey Saying, apart from family, Friends that one could

truly trust Amounted just to three. Not true — for I have 20 — So Mr Statistic Recorder You are now about to be

proved wrong And in descending order! There’s Maureen and

there’s Doreen The school friends I

once knew. Mmm... no longer exchanging Christmas cards — OK, so that’s less two. I suppose if I am honest — Marianne I’d like to kick, With her perfect ‘veggie’

dinner parties She’s getting on my wick! And her sister Elouisa Leaves everything on

her plate. No wonder she’s so

irritating, She’s only a size eight! Now on to the Women’s

Institute With June, Cynth, Chris

and Ali, They turn out perfect

marmalade But are they all that pally? My college friends

at Leicester Four of them I’ve got. But trust them with my

boyfriend? No, sir, I would not! My first great friends at

kindergarten I called the famous five, I’d love to send a fond

exchange But are they still alive? So of my inner circle The survey’s right, it’s three. The only ones I really

trust are I, myself, and me!

Sheila Webb, Chesham, Bucks. ‘An argument hard to resist,’ Said the man, ‘Is, though

experts insist That top bankers won’t stay Without millions in pay, If they went, would they really be missed?’ Jenny Grove, Kew, Surrey.