My home was a safe haven for distressed au pairs ...
OVER several years, I had 12 au pairs to help me with my two children. I had no problems with them (Femail) until the last one, who turned my house into Clapham Junction, with hordes of young men rampaging up my stairs every time I opened the door. We had another who repeatedly locked herself out and another who polished my furniture with tomato fertiliser, but those were forgivable mistakes. Think of the situation for these girls, in a strange country with a strange family. My au pairs, of various European nationalities, were helpful and kind and did all the duties asked of them. The situation for some of their friends was very different. Several girls who came to other families had bad experiences. A Turkish girl was thrown out after one weekend for no apparent reason. When I went to collect her things, the host threw her suitcase up the path. A Spanish girl was too frightened to go to bed at night, because the man of the family lay in wait for her on the landing, asking for sex. One girl was thrown out because she used too much toilet paper, another because she was clumsy. All these girls, and others, ended up in my house. It was the demands of the parents that were the issue. One girl did the washing for the children, parents and grandparents and had no time off. When she complained she was thrown out. Another returned from a Christmas break and was supposed to be met at the airport, but no one bothered to turn up. These girls were cast off in a strange country with no support network, no help from agencies and no money. Through my own au pair, I was their only contact and, often, gave them a roof over their head. For several years, my house became a refuge for dispossessed au pairs. At one time, I had four staying. The agencies didn’t demand references from the hosts beyond a letter (easily forged) saying the parents were upright citizens. Who would let a daughter go to a strange family abroad without checks? I thought of our au pairs as surrogate daughters. Ten years later, we’re still in touch and receive invitations to weddings in various countries. JACQUEE STOROZYNSKI-TOLL, Southend, Essex.