Today’spoem

I TRIED NOT TO BE RUDE I wrote a letter to the government About the soaring price of food And escalating heating bills — I tried not to be rude. Last week my wife and I went out — Our anniversary celebration, She said: ‘Take me somewhere expensive, darling,’ So I took her to the filling station. They say it’s nought to do with tax — It’s the rising cost of crude, And the worldwide fiscal market — I tried not to be rude. I’ll bet those energy company chiefs Buy boats off the Florida Keys And sun themselves all winter While the rest of us bloomin’ freeze And the bankers still take bonuses For debts that they’ve accrued, When public money bailed them out — I tried not to be rude. I paid for my Old Age Pension All my working life — Awarded mine at sixty-five But then they robbed my wife! All of our retirement plans, To which I now allude — Are put on hold ’til we’re too old — I tried not to be rude. Even funeral costs are rising — Can’t afford the cost of living, Can’t afford the cost of dying, No one seems to listen. Hope I won’t be misconstrued — I’ve really had it up to here But … I tried not to be rude.

Richard Crabtree, Sheringham, Norfolk.

andlimerick

... Cockneys are ‘brown bread’, old mate, In this so-called ultra-mod state. It’s now much more slick To say things are ‘sick’, (Which in today’s jargon means ‘great’). Robert Ben-nathan,

Denham, Bucks.