Wordywise

BALLDOG — loves to play.

George Andrews, Norwich. DIM BOWIE — the legendary frontiersman really should have done his arithmetic and given the Alamo a miss.

Ditto, Davy ‘ Heavens, who designed that hat?’ Crockett.

Mark Wraith, Newark, Notts. SEVEN-YEAR DITCH — British Gas breaks the record for the longest pipe-replacement job.

Richard Myers, Hendon, London. MACTOR — Scottish thespian. Mrs Sylvia Dugard, Witney, Oxon.

a WOODY TWO-SHOES — pair of clogs.

Mrs Freda Sumner, Bradworthy, Devon. ATTILA THE NUN — boy, has he changed his lifestyle!

Anne Taylor, Wigan, Gtr Manchester.

Yourjokes

WHILE at school, a young lady said she would go out on a date with me if I could tell her what photosynthesis meant.

I did, and my friends were green with envy.

Paul Rose, Little Chalfont, Bucks.

One-line philosophers

THOSE who don’t shop around for the cheapest petrol are being fuelish.

Mrs Valerie Ashton, London N14. THE greatest hurdle we face each day is the edge of the bed; once we’re over that, it’s downhill all the way.

Colin Reed, Ealing, London.

Thisengland

SEEN in the Hull Daily Mail: ‘A nearly-new baby sale will be held next weekend to raise money for a toddler group.’

D.E. Frobisher, Hull.