Straight to the POINT

÷ MY LOCAL public house is displaying the sign: ‘Beer shortage: panic buy now!’

KENNETH OSWALD JONES, Wirral, Merseyside. ÷ BEFORE he died, Bin Laden is supposed to have said he didn’t want any more suicide bombers because they were running out of virgins. Looking at George Galloway’s sex life, you can see his point.

RODERICK MOORE, Liverpool. ÷ THE Conservatives have gone, in one quick step, from the ‘nasty party’ to the Stasi party.

RICHARD PALMER, North Shields ÷THE only thing more stupid than Damien Hirst’s ‘art’ are the fools who buy it.

BRIAN BUTLER, South Benfleet, Essex. ÷ NEVER mind the panic over petrol and pasties, we have two weeks without Chris Evans’s manic blabbering on the radio — what bliss.

Mrs JOAN COLLINS, Sedbergh, Cumbria. ÷ FRANCIS MAUDE’S country mansion has a separate toilet for his gardener (Mail). I’m surprised he hasn’t asked him to use a jerry can.

ESTELLA JOYCE, Datchet, Berks. ÷ ‘BIG Brother’ plans to spy on all electronic communication are good news for the Post Office: we can revert to communicating by letter.

MALDWYN JONES, Holyhead, Anglesey. ÷ ENGLISH-RESIDENT Scots (Mail) have already expressed their opinions regarding independence — with their feet.

T. RUMBLE, Saffron Walden, Essex.