Come off it, Sam, men don’t want a vain princess
TO ME, Samantha Brick (Femail) looks pretty rather than beautiful. She’s not stunning, though her looks have obviously opened doors (champagne, great treatment by men) and closed them ( the cold-shouldering).
I’ve had friends more beautiful than her (and far better looking than me) and have been amazed at the wonderful way in which they’re treated, but I’ve taken it philosophically. There’s really no point in disliking someone for something they have no control over. It’s as bad to dislike someone for being lovely as for being ugly.
Samantha describes how she gets what she wants by flirting with men, so I suspect her problem may have more to do with women’s attitudes towards her actions than her looks. She’s pretty, intelligent and articulate — but doesn’t hesitate to use her looks when she can. I think Samantha recognises some of her problem but not the heart of it, which is the way she deals with men and the way in which they react to her.
I could never be jealous of her. I married a man who once said dismissively of a beautiful friend of mine that ‘she isn’t nearly as great as she thinks she is — she’s spoiled; needs to be the centre of attention and uses you’. He was right. I wonder what Samantha would think of a man who saw beyond her flirtation and looked to the woman inside.
LIS STEDMAN, Llanrwst, Conwy.
You’ve got a point
MOST people responding to Samantha will have wanted to ‘take her down a peg’ or hurt her feelings, but I found myself nodding along with what she had to say. It’s never a popular move to admit that you’re an attractive woman, but it does show strength of character and self-confidence.
As a statuesque, slim woman with a ‘top heavy’ build, I’ve always found it easier to get along with male colleagues and friends than with females. I’ve lost count of the number of times I’ve moaned to my boyfriend about having no girlfriends to go shopping or have cocktails with. It’s been the bugbear of my 30 years.
I repeat the same cycle every few months, I meet a new woman, get friendly with her and spend a lot of time with her, then suddenly find she’s no longer answering my calls.
I don’t flirt at work, I’m professional and courteous. I wear smart dresses and heels — I’d be frowned on for wearing jeans and a sweatshirt, so I can’t win.
Samantha is a very attractive woman, who takes pride in herself and keeps herself trim, as do I. Being a successful, intelligent and — shock horror! — attractive woman will always upset some people, but are they worth worrying about?
AMY TOCKNELL, Norwich.
What about character?
AFTER checking to see what the date was ( April 1?), my next thought on reading about Samantha Brick’s problems with being beautiful was that I’ll be forever thankful for having been born appearance- challenged. What a terrible life and how traumatic if must be for her to have to bear the stigma of beauty.
I’m not blessed in this way but at least I have loads of friends of both genders, I’m always good for a laugh and can chat away on any subject you care to mention, apart from quantum physics. I’ve always had to ensure that what I can’t offer in looks I can make up for in character.
Mrs LEE SLOAN, Belvedere, Kent.
The endless bitchiness
I AGREE with Samantha Brick — and with my partner who, when I first met him, told me he believed women don’t actually have friends. I have very few and put this down to the fact that I always take pride in my appearance, have inherited a good figure and never leave home without some lippy.
I’m a fairly quiet person who doesn’t enjoy gossip and so I tend to get blanked for looking as I do and declining to participate in the endless bitchiness of being a woman.
Samantha hopes this changes as one ages but it doesn’t. I’m 50 next year and still manage to upset 20-somethings by looking the way I do. Just ignore the remarks, Samantha, and continue doing what you do, taking comfort in the knowledge that the way you look is really hacking someone else off.
Miss T. JONES, South London.
Pretty deluded
LOOKING at Miss Brick, I see not a beautiful woman but an average blonde with an over-inflated opinion of her own looks. She says older women are more hostile, but she’s no spring chicken herself.
I’ve found that older ladies love pretty girls and always make encouraging remarks — and I’ve worked with hundreds of women. Miss Brick has mistakenly based her worth on how she thinks she looks — but it’s how you act that influences other people’s attitude towards you.
She should spend some time with what — in her book — are probably worthless people; the disfigured, burnt, scarred, hairless people and see how they manage to look beyond the outer skin and find true worth valued in things other than appearance. No wonder she finds herself sobbing in the toilets, no doubt checking in the mirror to make sure she’s doing it prettily.
NITA WITHERS, Packington, Leics.
Bravo for self-belief
IT’S said that ‘beauty is in the eye of the beholder’ and Samantha Brick sees herself as beautiful, which can only be commended. We’re constantly encouraged to have greater self-worth in order to live happier lives.
If a person who appears unattractive to others can see themselves as lovely, this will emanate from them and perhaps pass into the eyes of others. No one can deny that Samantha comes across as unattractive, some will see her as plain, others will see her as beautiful . . . but maybe she gives a message to all of us by at least believing in herself.
LIZ OWEN, London SW13.
Bullying women
SAMANTHA Brick hopes now she’s in her 40s that men will stop lusting after her and women will stop treating her so harshly. I know, from bitter experience, that this is unlikely to be the case. I’m now well into my 60s and even although I’m a bit overweight and have never had any kind of plastic surgery, I still regularly attract the unwanted attentions of men and am still shunned, bullied and treated rudely by other women, especially older women. When I was younger ( and slimmer) I longed for the friendship of other females, but I rarely got it. I never had any problems attracting men, even when I didn’t crave their attention. Nobody told me when I was growing up that I was physically attractive: no one warned me that being a good-looking woman is a recipe for loneliness.
Very often, I’ve wished that other women would get to know me before passing judgement. They would discover that I have a good sense of humour, that I’m generous, tolerant, intelligent and naturally witty and that I would never dream of flirting with or stealing their menfolk.
When I joined Friends Reunited, I contacted 100 former female classmates and workmates: only one replied. Every one of the 20 men I contacted replied. This is a serious problem for good-looking women, especially as they get older.
VAL GRAVES, Reading.
Nothing special
SAMANTHA Brick looks a reasonably attractive young woman, but beautiful? Maybe in her mind and that of her husband but — sorry, Samantha — to everyone else she’s nothing special.
I would guess the ‘bitchiness’ she claims to have endured stems not so much from envy as from those who are fed up with her vanity. I would guess the rush of admirers to buy her rail tickets, flowers and so on, exist only in her fertile imagination.
She’ll no doubt be surprised to hear it, but as one of the many women she dismisses as ‘paranoid’ I’m happy in my own skin with a husband who adores me and tells me every day how beautiful I am. He sees past the encroaching wrinkles and saggy tummy to the person I am inside and I wouldn’t feel the slightest bit concerned for my relationship if Samantha came to visit. She may dress and make up nicely, do her hair and work out in the gym but vanity and self-interest are unattractive traits. The love I share with my husband is built on a lot more than a girly giggle and a gym-toned body.
The most ‘beautiful’ people in the world are those who give of themselves and their time freely to others, empathise with other people and are always ready to do a good turn with no thought of personal gain or reward. Their kindness shines out of their faces and people are drawn to them because of it. They don’t spend their time gazing in the mirror, admiring their perfect features.
ANTOINETTE FOERS, Sheffield.
Home truths
SAMANTHA Brick’s vision of herself reminds me of a friend in my younger days. When a few of us were discussing beauty and its merits, another friend remarked that she found most beautiful women very conceited. The first friend was outraged and said angrily: ‘That’s not true at all, I know I’m not.’ Our ‘ beautiful’ friend couldn’t work out why the rest of us were in stitches laughing.
MARIAN BECK, Allithwaite, Cumbria.
You’re so vain
WOMEN probably dislike Samantha Brick because she has such a high opinion of herself. My very beautiful daughter is 41, the same age as Samantha, has two children and another one expected any day now. She’s a lovely person with a brilliant personality and has loads of women friends who love and care for her.
Perhaps Samantha should take a long look at her personality and realise she doesn’t look that fantastic, she’s just vain.
SHIRLEY LYONS, address supplied.
The plain truth
AS A ladies hairstyling veteran of more than 38 years, I’ve worked all my life with beautiful, attractive, semi-attractive, plain, unusally unattractive and plain ugly women every day of my life.
I’ve had a good look at Samantha Br ick and can confidently state that she ain’t no beauty. She is a plain, large foreheaded woman, with fine hair, a gummy grin and big legs. Where in the world did she get the idea she’s ‘beautiful’?
HENDRY MCMAHON, Aberystwyth.