They call it Blueberry Monday . . .

LEAFLETS have been popping through letterboxes in Sutton, Surrey, detailing the latest deranged reorganisation of the refuse collection services.

From this week, 40 per cent of homes will be getting their bins emptied on a different day.

To help people remember when to put their rubbish out, the Lib Dem council has produced a handy guide.

All the days of the week have been given their own colour. ‘We’ve named the days so that they are easy to remember. Find out whether you’re Lime Tuesday or Lemon Thursday by checking our colour-coded map.’

There’s also Blueberry Monday, Strawberry Wednesday, Plum Friday and Peach Saturday. how does renaming Wednesday ‘Strawberry Wednesday’ help someone put their bin out on the correct day?

Most people over the age of two are perfectly capable of remembering the days of the week, without this fatuous, patronising drivel.

‘Oi, Doris, is it Lemon Tuesday tomorrow, or Lime Friday?’

‘I think it’s Chartreuse Thursday. Or is that only alternate weeks?’

I’ve heard of Stormy Monday, Manic Monday and even the happy Mondays. But who came up with Blueberry Monday?

In any event, even if you do remember to put out your bin on Blueberry Monday it won’t get emptied if it’s the wrong colour.

‘ Blue bins are gone!’ the leaflet declares. Rubbish should now be divided between green bins and brown bins. But don’t put out a brown bin on Lime Thursday if your collection day is Strawberry Wednesday or you’ll be fined.

how much did all this madness cost? how many meetings did it take? Why Plum Friday and not Peach Friday?

More to the point, does Sutton council think its taxpayers are all educationally subnormal?

If they’ve got any sense, come the next election the voters of Sutton should give the Lib Dems a giant raspberry.