All I want for summer . . . is a brand new electric blanket

UNLESS you’ve been living in a sealed box in the Sahara for the past four months, you’ll know that this has been one of the wettest, most miserable summers in years.

Farmers, shops, hotels, ice-cream vans and wildlife sanctuaries have all suffered. Thousands of homes have flooded and millions of pounds worth of crops have been ruined.

It’s not all gloom though. Some have done unexpectedly well out of the relentless rain.

Marks & Spencer sold 105,000 jumpers between April and June, 24 per cent more than in the same period last year (although sales of lightweight linen clothing are down by 28 per cent). Shops haven’t been able to re-stock wellington boots fast enough: online retailer Shoezone has sold 97,000 pairs since the start of May, while sales of wellies have risen by 563 per cent at Sainsbury’s and 400 per cent at John Lewis.

Umbrella sales were up 500 per cent at Superdrug as brollies were blown inside out by howling, squally winds.

Meanwhile, sales of St John’s Wort — a treatment for depression — have increased by 115 per cent as gloomy Brits attempt to lighten the overcast mood, and the unexpectedly chilly weather has led to a 60 per cent rise in sales of electric blankets at John Lewis.

And with barely a glimmer of sunshine to be seen, pasty Brits have been slathering on layer upon layer of fake tan. Sales of fake tanning products are up by more than 20 per cent, while sales of sun cream (what’s the point?) have fallen by 13 per cent.

One more unexpected beneficiary of the downpours has been the home electricals industry, however. John Lewis has reported an 86 per cent increase in sales of tumble driers, as garden clothes lines prove much more effective at rinsing clothes than drying them off.