Ephraim Hardcastle

WHERE does the BBC stand on Scottish independence? A Yes vote could mean losing Scottish licence fees – about 10 per cent of BBC income. The Labour MP for Glasgow Central, Anas Sarwar, says Scottish viewers might miss their favourite TV shows, adding that 910,000 of them watch Strictly Come Dancing. They might have to sign up with Sky to see BBC shows. That would delight its Scot Nat-supporting boss, Rupert Murdoch. STAR Trek’s former Captain Kirk, actor William Shatner, 81, appears at London’s Excel centre tomorrow alongside successors including Scott Bakula and our own Sir Patrick Stewart. Shatner says snootily: ‘I’ve seen almost none of the other incarnations.’ Will they be ‘beamed’ onstage separately? THE Prime Minister angrily refused to answer a Commons question by Chris ‘Captain Underpants’ Bryant, saying the Labour MP – who once advertised in his smalls for a pal – uttered ‘untruths’ about him and hadn’t apologised. Meanwhile, Bryant seeks an apology from Chancellor George Osborne, who called him a pantomime dame in 2010. So high-minded, the Commons! SO-CALLED comedian David Baddiel – himself an author – congratulates Hilary Mantel, pictured, for winning the Man Booker Prize. Then spoils it by adding: ‘ Now: can anyone explain to her how to lower the power setting on her hair dryer?’ What a bounder! FOREIGN Secretary William Hague uses the cowardly shooting of education for-girls campaigner Malala Yousafzai, 14, to justify our foreign aid to Pakistan. Isn’t it extreme Islamic culture that obstructs the education of women? WHY has bouffant-haired Tory MP Michael Fabricant taken a leading role in stirring up ill-feeling towards embattled Chief Whip Andrew Mitchell? ‘Because he was threatened by Mitchell, then a whip, in 1992, during an EU rebellion against John Major and has neither forgotten nor forgiven,’ says my source. POP star Christina Aguilera, 31, pictured, declares: ‘Some people are afraid of change and think that getting older is a bad thing, but I really love maturing and gaining wisdom. I embrace my body, and I embrace everything about myself.’ I’m confident Ms Aguilera isn’t short of an embrace from others, too. ROCK guitarist Pete Townshend tells a wistful story in his memoir about Mick Jagger coming to see The Who in Los Angeles. ‘I wore a crown I’d found at a theatrical outfitter and asked Mick what he thought. He said: “It’s hard to take you seriously, Pete. You look like a ****.”’