Droopy desperate for the last laugh
SO disastrous was 2013 in the annals of Les Bleus that France coach Philippe SaintAndre acquired the nickname Droopy after the MGM cartoon character with the hangdog expression.
Droopy would move slowly and lethargically, speaking in a jowly, monotone voice; Saint-Andre increasingly looked and sounded like that as he tried to explain miserable performances which yielded the dreaded 6 Nations wooden spoon and a final tally for the year of a measly two victories in 11 games.
France managed just nine tries, excluding the four against lowly Tonga. But, former Gloucester and Sale coach Saint-Andre has presented a different image to his critics this week ahead of Le Crunch, as all contests between England and France must be labelled. Sitting erect, head up, he has been speaking clearly and loudly about a young and talented squad who will have learned how to win again.
He hopes. His new look will remain just a brave face unless the old enemy is vanquished.
‘Losing is not an option,’ said Pascal Pape, the France captain.
Not so much the gratuitous remark of a leader rallying his charges but an accurate representation of the extent of the crisis in French rugby.
There is a feeling from Paris to Perpignan that an England victory would end France’s season almost before it has begun.
‘They are under tremendous pressure,’ World Cup-winning full back Iain Balshaw said.
‘The average rugby supporter is frustrated and mystified about how phenomenally well their stars can play for their clubs and yet they are not able to perform in the national team.’
Balshaw and Steffon Armitage, the exiled England flanker who has been earning rave reviews at Toulon, point to selection mysteries and that French coaching trait of fielding players out of position.
‘They are performing well for their clubs, get picked for the national team and are played in a different position,’ Armitage said.
‘No-one knows what’s going on. Take my team-mate at Toulon, Frederic Michalak. He plays at scrum-half for us and is picked at fly-half for France.’
Former Scotland international Nathan Hines has played rugby in France for seven years. ‘I know them so well I don’t know what they are going to do against England,’ Hines said. ‘I can confidently predict only their unpredictability.’
Hines, Armitage and Balshaw all agree on one thing, namely the intensity of a forward battle which always justifies military metaphors.
‘It will be more of a war than anything else. It will be brutal,’ Balshaw said. ‘The French will want to take on England up front before releasing their talented back division. I sense an element of do or die. France are all too aware of the importance of this match.’
Hines detects little, if anything, personal in the supposed hatred of the English by the French. ‘It’s nothing to do with individuals,’ he said. ‘The hostility is towards the team, the jersey and what it stands for.’
As Saint-Andre explained: ‘People (in France) with no clue about rugby sit in front of the television to watch France v England. It is about history. It is a very, very special occasion.’
One where losing will prompt the return of Droopy.