I, Frankenstein (12A) That Awkward Moment (15)
Verdict: Monstrously awful
A MESSY hybrid of video games, the Underworld films and Mary Shelley’s novel, with often-risible dia-logue and some decid-edly clunky acting, I, Frankenstein is a stab at horror-fantasy that goes badly wrong even before Bill Nighy — Bill Nighy! — turns up as a louche demon prince.
‘I resolved to seek out the farthest corners of the Earth,’ says Frankenstein’s mon-ster, and although it was self-loathing that propelled him on his travels, it might equally have been a glimpse of the script. Aaron Eckhart plays the creature without a soul who, though created in 1795, winds up in a modern-day city and is pitched into a battle between demons (bad) and gargoyles (good). There are some decent CGI effects but for me the only source of enjoyment was in marvelling at how Nighy seems to be turning into Michael Heseltine. Which, if nothing else, suggests a sequel: a horror-fantasy about Tory grandees called I, Heseltine.
Verdict: Feeble romcom
ZAK EFRON’S boyish charm quickly wears thin in this tale of three young, emotionally arrested New Yorkers — and if there’s not an acronym for them, there ought to be — who promise each other they will stay single, and so avoid ‘ that awkwa r d moment’ when women start craving longterm commitment.
Efron plays Jason, whose whipcrack banter with his buddies Mikey ( Michael B. Jordan) and Daniel (Miles Teller) will either delight or irritate you, possibly depending on your age.
If you’re over 25, I can almost guarantee it will be the latter. But that might be an insult to the under-25s, who will surely recognise that this film is at best half as funny or charming as the least funny, least charming episode of Friends.
British actress Imogen Poots does a decent job as Ellie, the sassy young woman who, inevitably, tests Jason’s resolve to breaking point and beyond. But every time a vaguely decent movie threatens to emerge, some witlessly crass dialogue pulls it back into the mire.
And I’m suspicious of comedy films in which out-takes run over the credits. It implies that even the director thinks the funniest stuff wound up on the cutting-room floor.