FIX YOUR PALACE

Leaky roofs, crumbling bricks, antiquated boilers, even more ancient wiring…. There is something oddly endearing in the revelation that the Queen has kept her properties in even worse repair than most of her subjects.

The House of Commons Public accounts Committee, which this week produced a damning report on the state of the royal palaces, urges Her Majesty, in so many words, to let more visitors into Buckingham Palace and use the proceeds to pay for essential building works. Nothing lavish. Just enough to bring it up to a standard appropriate to its national importance.

The committee has a point, and it’s a touch embarrassing to think that the prime minister of Belgium or the Netherlands might be entertained in a room which has not been redecorated since the Coronation.

Or that Buckingham Palace’s 60-year- old boilers could pack up in winter, just as the Royal Family is sitting down to dinner.

There are genuine safety issues. Princess anne was almost hit by a piece of falling masonry in a quadrangle in the palace. Nor should we forget the great fire at Windsor Castle in 1992, aggravated by outdated fireprotection measures.

But do we want a Buckingham Palace that looks like the closing sequence of a TV makeover programme, immaculate in every respect, down to the last Scandinavian light fitting?

Isn’t there something reassuring about our make- do-and-mend monarchy, muddling gamely through, putting off repairs till the last possible minute?

I laughed out loud at the disclosure that staff in the royal palaces have buckets at the ready to protect the furniture from leaks. We have all done the same.

Leaky roofs are part of the tapestry of life. My bedroom ceiling still bears the stains of an unsched-

The Queen isn’t the only one to let things slip — we all need to focus on running repairs, says

MAX DAVIDSON

uled leak during the 1996 Fa Cup Final. I couldn’t be bothered to have the ceiling repaired then, and I still can’t be bothered.

With the Royal Family, as with most of their subjects, the main reason roofs have not been repaired, rooms redecorated and boilers replaced is financial.

The grisly details are laid bare in the Public accounts Committee report. and with belt-tightening the order of the day, it is hard to see the palaces getting a major facelift any time soon.

But whether you are a Queen or a commoner, keeping a property in reasonable nick is recommended — if only because it will save money in the long run. Don’t let cowboys loose on your plasterwork or central heating.

Look for a member of the Federation of Master Builders (fmb. (fmb.

org.uk), org.uk), even if the problem you want sorted seems trivial.

The ourproperty.co.uk ourproperty.co.uk website is a good starting point for information about those fiddly little tasks, such as cleaning gutters, which need doing regularly. Period properties, with peeling walls and ancient heating systems, pose a particular challenge.

THeRe is some useful practical advice on the english Heritage website

(english-heritage.org.uk),

as well as on the website

theperiodpropertymarketplace.com.

‘a lot of people leave essential tasks too long and end up with a hefty bill a few years down the line,’ says Sam Diffey, of Character Builders (characterbuilderssouth

west.co.uk), a Devon-based family firm which specialises in maintaining and restoring buildings.

‘ Home- owners in properties overlooked by trees need to get their gutters and downpipes cleaned every year. Wooden window frames also need regular attention.

‘It often only needs the odd lick of paint to stop them rotting and letting in water, but you would be surprised how many people never take that simple precaution.’

To put off tomorrow things that should be done today is a universal human failing, and there are shabby properties across the land to prove it. But in an age when home improvement is a national obsession, you’ll never lack for DIy advice, whether you are surfing the net or watching TV property shows.

Check out the splendidly down-toearth Family Handyman website

(familyhandyman.com), which has a wealth of tips for impoverished home-owners whose properties are falling into disrepair.

Got a leaky roof? Then go up on the roof with a garden hose, advises the Handyman, and train it on different parts of the roof, while a helper stands in the room below, waiting for a drip to appear.

‘Tell your helper to yell when a drip becomes visible. The process can take more than an hour, so be patient and don’t move the hose too soon. ’

It is difficult to imagine the Queen and Duke of edinburgh following the advice to the letter, although the Duke would probably do the yelling part with gusto.

But the fact that they are plagued with the same problems as the rest of us will only boost their popularity. a Buckingham Palace with leaky roofs, and buckets to catch the drips, truly is the People’s Palace.