Every single life is worth celebrating

READERS will (I hope) forgive me for a quiet but proud memory. On November 8, 30 years ago, at London’s Albert Hall, I was presented with an award by the Queen, in her role as Patron of the charity Cruse, then celebrating its Silver Jubilee.

The handsome citation ‘acknowledges with appreciation the special contribution made by Bel Mooney to the public understanding of bereavement and widowhood through articles published in the national press.’

As I curtseyed, Her Majesty told me: ‘It is very important to write about this serious subject because it affects so many people.’

At the time, I wouldn’t have dreamt that one day I’d be an advice columnist on a great national paper, answering letters about (among other things) loss.

Two weeks ago I published a letter from ‘Pat’ asking how she could help her old friend who was suddenly widowed. Here’s what she wrote back: ‘Thank you very much indeed for all the research that you have done and for your very sound advice, which I have read twice and taken on board.

‘In addition, I received a phone call from my friend this morning asking whether I had written to you, as she recognised that the article fitted her circumstances. I think she was really pleased because it emphasised how much I care and want to help.’

Other readers wrote to tell their own stories, some adding that they had been helped by an organisation for men and women in their 50s and 60s who have lost a partner (www.way-up.co.uk), which is a development from WAY (www.widowedandyoung.org. uk) for younger widows.

All agreed that bereaved people need to reach out and (most important) to have friends who will listen. No need to say or do anything. It’s all about remembrance: a solemn and loving acknowledgement that every life is important.

That is, after all, why many of us will stand by war memorials tomorrow — and promise to remember those we did not know. On that universal as well as the personal level, we need to understand why it matters.