Viv’s right, women don’t dress well at Christmas

SIGNS that Christmas is nigh? A sudden proliferation of adverts for sofas. Public transport full of drunks. Tables for 30 in restaurants. novelty turkey sandwiches. And noting that every day is a fake special day, with its own fake special name.

We’ve got Stir Up Sunday, Black Friday and Cyber Monday. not to mention Choosy Tuesday, Keep The Receipt Wednesday, Take it Back Thursday and Fall Out With The in-Laws Friday.

Marketeers have even narrowed the optimum moment for festive sales of LBDs, apparently 2pm last Sunday. Every year, women spend millions on finding the perfect little black dress, but at least one designer says we are wasting our time. guess who? Dame Vivienne Westwood (right), who said this week British women are hopeless dressers anyway.

‘Do i dare say that generally speaking men usually dress better than their wives, who have too much choice and not enough taste,’ she asked. That’s right. Just look at us, an international laughing stock in our spangled tops and festive diamante collars. And i speak as someone who last week bought a dress made of wall-towall sequins, took it home, put it on again and shrieked. i looked like a tumbledown lighthouse on Mutton Rock, way out in the Bay of Dismay. So let’s throw ourselves on a pile of ill-fitting jersey separates and weep — for it is easier for men. They can dress better than their girlfriends or wives because their dress code is more straightforward and they have less to choose from.

Even a leering goblin with a bad shave and a wisp-over (Vince Cable) can look smart in charcoal tailoring. And men can wear socks and comfy shoes all the time, which is simply not fair.

So at this time of year, ladies, follow the Viv wisdom and be vigilant about buying clothes ‘for the sake of it’. invest in quality, leave the sequins to drag queens and remember that less is more. Except when it comes to hemlines, of course.