Why is my lover so obsessed with stockings?

QUESTION:

I’ve been trying online dating after my partner left me. Recently, I met a lovely bloke, and we’ve been seeing each other for two months. But his obsession with stockings is bothering me. He bought me some black, seamed ones and keeps asking me to wear them. I find the idea uncomfortable and a bit sexist. At 53, I feel too old to change. Is this unreasonable?

ANSWER: Obviously, it is your right to wear whatever lingerie you like. But that doesn’t mean your other half has to like it, any more than you have to fake ecstasy if he wears socks and a vest! Both sexes tend to have quite strong preferences about the kind of underwear they like to see a member of the opposite sex wearing. So it’s always useful to cast a fresh eye over your undies drawer when starting a new relationship.

You don’t have to surrender your personal style, but you can adapt it for special occasions. And that’s as true at 53 as at 23. My grandmother took up wearing fishnet tights in her 70s and looked very elegant.

You shouldn’t feel coerced into wearing the stockings, but it might be considerate to give them a whirl. After all, they were a present. And if you’re worried you’re pandering to your man’s seedier tastes, bear in mind a fondness for stockings is the mildest of all predilections, shared by around three-quarters of men.

Many women will sympathise with you on the comfort point. But modern belts are much sleeker and you could always opt for hold-ups — acceptable in most chaps’ eyes.

Remember, a willingness to understand your beloved’s tastes and oblige each other should spread to every area of intimacy. And you don’t automatically become a surrendered wife if you do something just to please your bloke every once in a while.

Seeing things from the point of view of the one you love is merely common courtesy.