We can’t afford to marry before starting a family

VICTORIA WOOD, 26, works for a charity, and lives in Sheffield with partner Jem Berkis (both pictured), 28, a manager in a bank.

SHE SAYS:

OUR desire to get married is driven mostly by our longing for a family.

Realistically, though, I can’t see how we will ever manage to save up the £25,000 that’s the average price of a wedding these days. That’s £5,000 more than the deposit on the £100,000 threebedroom terrace house Jem and I bought a year ago.

Both of us come from families where marriage is important. My parents are currently in America celebrating their 40th wedding anniversary and Jem’s have been married for 25 years.

Although we earn £55,000 between us, there always seem to be setbacks. Last December, we had to replace our broken boiler and earlier this month, joyriders stole both of our cars.

I’d like to be able to afford a dress and to invite everyone who we really want to be there. Even if it doesn’t cost as much as £25,000, with the price of rings, a honeymoon and a celebration with our loved ones, it would still mount up to at least £10,000.

As I have polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS) which may make conceiving more difficult, I don’t want to wait too long before trying for a baby. So children may have to come before the wedding.

HE SAYS:

LIKE Victoria, I really want us to have children and the ideal would be to do so once we’re married. I know there’s no stigma attached to having children out of wedlock, but my parents’ marriage is strong and I grew up feeling part of a secure family unit. So, that’s what I’d like for us, too.

But it feels like the clock’s ticking and we’re starting to resign ourselves to the prospect that we might never be able to save enough money to marry, despite both being good earners and savers.

Victoria and I are not prepared to get into debt to pay for a wedding and I agree with her that we shouldn’t burden our parents with the ridiculous costs. My mum had cancer recently and my dad’s had health problems, so I want them to enjoy every penny that they’ve got saved up.

It sickens me how much prices are inflated the moment you mention the word ‘wedding’.

Money aside, I’d get married in a heartbeat and do hope that one day Victoria and I will be able to do so. But we can’t let that get in the way of us starting a family.