Meet your Monster Raving Liberal Party candidate...

NIGEL FARAGE complains that Ukip supporters who behave badly or speak ‘inappropriately’ are unfairly singled out by the media. Yesterday he accused the BBC of ‘clear and evident bias’ after being repeatedly quizzed about the suitability of some of his more eccentric candidates for office.

Sorry, Nige, but Ukip does seem to have a fair few members who are determined to live up to David Cameron’s description of them as a bunch of ‘fruitcakes, loonies and closet racists’.

When Ukip was a fringe protest party, none of this really mattered. But after success in the Euro elections and excited talk about winning dozens of seats at Westminster, it was inevitable that Ukip would come under the spotlight.

and when you shine a torch under stones, some of what comes crawling out isn’t always especially appetising. Even those of us who agree with Farage about the EU and immigration are repelled by the blazered pub bores, assorted madwomen and unreconstructed racists riding the Ukip bandwagon.

Every party contains its share of obnoxious extremists, crooks and headbangers. the Press does a pretty good job of smoking them out — whether they’re taking backhanders from dodgy donors, fiddling their expenses, or up to their neck in child abuse scandals. But Farage certainly has a point when he protests that Ukip seems to get a disproportionately harder time than most, particularly from the broadcast media.

For instance, imagine what the BBC would have made of a Ukip parliamentary candidate who was revealed to have taken part in a pornographic movie, trawled the internet for casual gay sex, and deliberately attempted to infect himself with the hIV virus — all while under the influence of recreational drugs.

tell you what, let’s give him a funny name, say: adrian hyyrylainen-trett. Marvellous. Sounds just like that Monty Python character from the election sketch. You know, the Silly Party candidate. What was his name? Tarquin Fintim-Limbim-WhimbimLim-Bus-Stop-F’Tang-F’Tang- Olé -Biscuit-Barrel.

That’S the fella. Just the sort you’d expect to find standing for Ukip. a lot of these extreme Rightwingers are closet homosexuals. Well known for it. Remember all that business with the National Front a few years ago?

We’d be told ad infinitum that this only goes to prove yet again that Ukip doesn’t vet the people it puts up for election. Surely a cursory background check would uncover the fact that this individual was unfit to hold public office?

For weeks on end, Farage would be mauled from pillar to post. Every time he was interviewed he’d be asked how this disreputable character slipped through the net.

Only this isn’t a hypothetical Ukip candidate, who I’ve made up for the sake of argument. It’s the real-life Liberal Democrat candidate for

Vauxhall, South London. adrian

hyyrylainen-trett says he played a

gay wrestler in a porn film, took

copious amounts of drugs and, after

twice trying to commit suicide, had sex with as many men as possible because he wanted to catch hIV.

he deliberately put himself in risky situations, which would often result in him being abused and ending up unconscious from a drugs overdose.

Mr hyyrylainen-trett says his reckless behaviour was a result of being the victim of ‘homophobic bullying’ when he was younger, which set him on the path to ‘self-annihiliation’.

he has decided to speak out about his past life because he wants to help others in a similar situation. all very commendable, you might conclude. In fact, many people have congratulated him, including Elton John, who said confronting his ‘hIV status’ was an incredibly brave thing to do.

So it might be, but he wouldn’t have an ‘hIV status’ to confront if he hadn’t tried to deliberately infect himself.

Look, if someone has been bullied and subsequently gone off the rails then they are entitled to our sympathy and understanding.

But does that mean they are a credible candidate to become an MP for a party which could for the second successive parliament be an influential part of a ruling coalition? Would you want an ex-porn star who has tried to commit suicide by hIV, while under the influence of recreational drugs, representing you at Westminster?

Yet the focus of this story, such as it is, has been not on the suitability of Mr hyyrylainen-trett to be a Member of Parliament, but on his ‘bravery’ and the ‘homophobia’ he says he suffered.

this is a classic example of how our Looking Glass World works these days. It’s not about homosexuality, or bullying, it’s about hypocrisy and double standards. If hyyrylainentrett had been an alcoholic Ukip candidate — or tory, for that matter — who’d been caught consorting with street- corner prostitutes in a deliberate attempt to catch aIDS, we’d never have heard the last of it.

his sordid past would have been used to smear his entire party. Yet not once, unless I’ve missed something, have I heard Nick Clegg being asked to comment on whether the Monster Raving Liberal Party candidate in Vauxhall is a fit and proper person to become an MP.

Until that happens, Nigel Farage is entitled to his persecution complex.

His name was Davey, and he rode the fastest push-bike in the West