Spare me the soppy wives on the stump

AFTER the Cameron Pantry and the Miliband snack Kitchen, it was time for the electorate to chow down in Cafe Clegg. As a pan of paella simmered on their six-burner stovetop, it was Nick and Miriam’s turn to invite the nation into their lovely, ordinary, £2 million-plus, stuccoclad home set in a leafy enclave in a fashionable Thames- side area of West london.

They nervously sipped white wine in the kitchen, as skittish as a couple waiting for the guests to arrive at their first swingers’ party.

In this interview with Tom Bradby for ITV, the Cleggs dressed down in weekend casuals to talk about the pressures of a political marriage.

‘We stand together. Many go through this,’ shouted Miriam as Nick burbled in the background about the abuse that came his way. From whom? His wife? This was not made clear, although he did say: ‘You have to laugh if it is something silly.’

Amid the terracotta jars and the parsley pots, the most revealing moment came when the Cleggs talked about the discussions they had and the decision they made to resist pressure to move out of the family home and into an official residence.

‘Discussion is a rather grand word for Miriam basically saying no,’ said Nick, before assuring his wife: ‘You were so right, you were so right.’

It was a self-effacing remark. Amusing, even. However, why, why?

THIs did nothing to dissuade the public of the dearly held notion that Mr Clegg is a henpecked hubby who basically does what he is told at home. Confirmation, if we needed it, that he is the Brad to her Angelina, the very junior partner in the Clegg coalition.

It makes one wonder, all over again, why our political leaders insist on dragging their wives into these highprofile situations. After all, the men hardly ever come out of it well.

This week, Justine Miliband revealed that when she first met Ed at a party, he pretended to be single — despite the fact that the party was being held at his girlfriend’s house. What a cad!

Justine might have supposed this made her Ed look like a much- desired, warm-blooded boyfriend; a catch who was lusted after by other TO SUGGEST, as some women’s charities have done, that the rape awareness poster issued by Sussex Police somehow blames the victims for their ordeal is ridiculous. Can’t we accept that urging young women to stick together in a group and look out for each other is good, practical advice? Part of growing up is taking responsibility for yourself. If only some so-called feminists would realise that. women. A non-geek that she was lucky to have.

In fact, it all rather diminished Miliband, implying that he was an easy liar, a man of low honour, a chancer who seized opportunity instead of facing up to obligation. Quelle surprise. And as for the Camerons, every time sam and Dave are together on camera, I’m always terrified he is going to start talking about their sex life. Was sam even hinting that he has had a vasectomy when she revealed this week that a doctor had said ‘no way Jose’ to the couple having any more children? Hands over ears. Please. I don’t want to know.

Not to be outdone, Miriam also revealed recently that when she first saw Clegg she thought: ‘Wow!’

We all do, darling — though perhaps not for the same reasons.

STILL, you can’t say that Justine, samantha and Miriam are not doing their bit. Begrimed by their husbands’ chosen profession, they put their own careers on hold to spread the word, bang the drum, get out on the stump in a way that is never required of leaders’ husbands.

Over the past week or so, we have heard the wives’ politely curated views on everything from stout to childcare, we have admired their sensible shoes, we have been into their kitchens, rifling through the olive oils and condiments, passing judgment on their salad bowls and meal choices.

From now until polling day, they will be doing even more laughably unlikely things, all in the name of vote- catching strategies. Which suggests that party strategists think their spouses could be vital in wooing swing voters in key areas.

But really, who is going to be swayed by earnest Justine trying to present the Milibands as a dream team, a power family? ‘I love campaigning, Ed loves campaigning and so do the kids,’ she insists, without blushing.

In the momentum of the hustings, are we supposed to overlook the implausibility of such wifely pronouncements?

In the last election, the three leaders — which then included labour’s Gordon Brown — took to gurgling about how much they loved their wives in a touchy-feely manner that would have been unthinkable in the 2005 election.

Now things are set to get even soppier.

so far, events seem to start and end around a kitchen table as leaders parade their wives in a desperate bid to appeal to floating voters. And I fear we are going to see a lot, lot more of them in the coming weeks.