JONATHAN CAINER

AT THE beginning and end of retrograde phases, planets appear to stand still. Issues associated with those planets become more intense during these ‘stations’. The influence tends to last longer than the visual information alone might suggest. How much longer is a moot point. Many astrologers are reluctant to put a duration on a station. But we all agree Jupiter is no longer retracing its steps and the planet of hope is now free to bring more to celebrate. For good measure, a fifth harmonic alignment from Jupiter to Venus implies much to inspire all our hearts this weekend.

ARIES Mar 21 — Apr 20

DO YOU want to know

what the future holds? Are you sure? People often tell me they’d love to have their horoscope read, but only if the news is good. I always reply, cheerfully, that I only deal with good news. It might, I suppose, be more honest to say that few things in this world are so bad that they have no positive aspect. This weekend, we find you looking ahead with trepidation to an event you’re not sure you’re going to like. Be more confident and get ahead where you’re lagging behind! Anxious? I’ve recorded a very special message for you. Give me four minutes and I’ll give you the key to your future. Call 0906 751 5601.

TAURUS

Apr 21 — May 21

THINK of a place where you feel at home. Why, the very thought that you may soon return to that environment is enough to put you at ease. Now, here’s a question. Can you be completely sure all is well there? Perhaps it has changed. Maybe things are different now. They aren’t. That’s not what I’m suggesting or predicting. But I just want to focus your attention on the angst that a fear of loss can create. Trust, with all your heart and soul, that things will be just fine today — and they will be. Confused? I’ve recorded a very special message for you. Give me four minutes and I’ll give you the key to your future. Call 0906 751 5602.

GEMINI May 22 — June 22

SOME people

make a fuss about the silliest things. Then again, as Paul Simon succinctly put it: ‘One man’s ceiling is another man’s floor.’ Stuff you take in your stride, another person finds impossible. There’s a clash of standards and a conflict of interest taking place in your world right now. The trick, this weekend, if you can manage it, is to show some sympathy and sensitivity to someone else’s point of view — without feeling obliged to drop or stop whatever now means so much to you. Worried? I’ve recorded a very special message for you. Give me four minutes and I’ll give you the key to your future. Call 0906 751 5603.

CANCER

June 23 — July 23

ARE your actions consistent, your moods logical, your beliefs perfectly reasonable? Let us hope not! You may have a very clever mind, but it is not a computer. And for as long as you’ve got a heart, you’re going to be a human, not a robot. There are, this weekend, issues and factors which make little sense. Some reflect your actions and choices. Others echo similarly erratic moves being made by those around you. Don’t waste energy trying to explain what can’t be explained. Relax and trust what you feel. Uncertain? I’ve recorded a very special message for you. Give me four minutes and I’ll give you the key to your future. Call 0906 751 5604.

LEO July 24 — Aug 23

NEVER mind ‘what do you want?’. The real question to ask now is, ‘what do you NOT want?’. What are you trying to avoid. What are you worried you could end up with? You need to look, not just at your conscious concerns, but at your secret fears, inhibitions and anxieties. Some part of you is afraid of success. There’s something you could have — or do — or enjoy if only you weren’t so afraid of the possible repercussions and potential consequences. Either overcome that fear or pick a new objective this weekend. Anxious? I’ve recorded a very special message for you. Give me four minutes and I’ll give you the key to your future. Call 0906 751 5605.

VIRGO

Aug 24 — Sep 23

IS THERE a gap? An absence? A missing link? A source of sadness? What would you like to do about this? You can try to talk yourself out of all you feel. You can rationalise every emotion and explain away every deep, inner need. You are very good at this kind of thing. Every so often, though, you come across a passion so profound that no amount of logic or clever conversation can eradicate it. Your current sensitivity is nothing to be ashamed of. Accept it, and be motivated by it this weekend. Confused? I’ve recorded a very special message for you. Give me four minutes and I’ll give you the key to your future. Call 0906 751 5606.

LIBRA Sep 24 — Oct 23

WHEN we are feeling

generous, we think about the gifts we’d like to give, the gestures we’d like to make, the bridges we’d like to build, the bonds we’d like to deepen and ... Well, sometimes, we think about the obligations we have to honour and the limitations we must accept. If we are not careful, we get so caught up in what’s expected of us that we lose track of our ideals. There are some things that can’t happen this weekend, but that doesn’t mean they can’t happen in time. They may come sooner than you think. Worried? I’ve recorded a very special message for you. Give me four minutes and I’ll give you the key to your future. Call 0906 751 5607.

SCORPIO

Oct 24 — Nov 22

IS THERE something you are supposed to be doing? Could you be striving harder to cash in on your astrological advantage? Are you missing a trick? Letting the grass grow over your feet? On the contrary. You are doing the right thing in the right way. All you need is coming naturally towards you. If you are having to fight for something it can only be because it is not what you truly require. Take it easy this weekend. And prepare to be given a wonderful gift from a surprisingly kindly cosmos. Uncertain? I’ve recorded a very special message for you. Give me four minutes and I’ll give you the key to your future. Call 0906 751 5608.

SAGITTARIUS Nov 23 — Dec 21

THERE are

some itches that we really ought not to scratch, some addictions we should not indulge and some questions we might as well not ask, especially if we value our peace of mind. Intense astrological influences seem to be bringing up an almost exact recurrence of some difficult issue you have dealt with over recent months. But you don’t have to relive the past or go through old arguments. Either reaffirm your commitment to a course of action or change an idea. But do it decisively this weekend. Anxious? I’ve recorded a very special message for you. Give me four minutes and I’ll give you the key to your future. Call 0906 751 5609.

CAPRICORN

Dec 22 — Jan 20

WE live in an instant, just-add-water, push-button, microwaveable-in-under-three-minutes, zap-the-remote-control kind of a world. Not everything about it is good. Often, we lose our appreciation for essential natural processes that need to happen slowly. We look for ways to hurry them — as we look for ways to depersonalise the injustices that we can see yet seemingly cannot influence. Something, this weekend, puts you back in touch with the nicest part of reality. Allow your hope the time it needs to blossom. Confused? I’ve recorded a very special message for you. Give me four minutes and I’ll give you the key to your future. Call 0906 751 5610.

AQUARIUS

Jan 21 — Feb 19

SALESPEOPLE have special techniques for dealing with vacillating customers. They will say: ‘They’re very difficult to get in this colour.’ Or: ‘There aren’t any more at this price and I had someone in earlier today keen to get this one. They said they would come back with a deposit. But if you are quick...’ And it’s not just in commerce that appeals are made to our greed, fear or vanity. Be wary of such ploys this weekend, and watch, too, for the way you are trying to sell yourself on a debatable idea. Worried? I’ve recorded a very special message for you. Give me four minutes and I’ll give you the key to your future. Call 0906 751 5611.

PISCES

Feb 20 — Mar 20

WHY wear colourful clothes when life is drab? Why think happy thoughts when all is depressing? Why hang on to joy until something makes you feel unhappy? Why not be miserable and save yourself the wait? Many pessimists feel this way. They think we might as well surrender to the inevitable. But that raises a big question. What actually is inevitable? How can we be so sure that our fates are sealed and our futures futile? Cynicism now, is severely misplaced — as soon, you will see this weekend. Uncertain? I’ve recorded a very special message for you. Give me four minutes and I’ll give you the key to your future. Call 0906 751 5612.