Ephraim Hardcastle

EX-Lib Dem leader Charles Kennedy, who has died aged 55, was offered a life peerage, I understand. If he accepted, it’ll be acknowledged officially when the Dissolution Honours List is published shortly. Why might he have refused a peerage? He sought a fully elected Lords, calling it ‘a bastion of privilege and patronage, made up almost entirely of those who have either inherited their place or been granted it through the favour of prime ministers and party leaders’. Of course, many who opposed the Lords later took seats there. Including Labour bigwigs Neil Kinnock and Roy Hattersley. ULTIMO brassiere tycoon Michelle Mone says she’s had to quit her native Glasgow for London because of abuse from Scot Nat trolls after supporting the ‘No’ side in last year’s referendum. Yet Edinburghbased, Labour-supporting Harry Potter author JK Rowling was called ‘Blairite scum’ for doing the same and she’s staying put. She told her tormentors: ‘The internet doesn’t just offer opportunities for misogynistic abuse, you know. P***s enlargers can also be bought discreetly.’ WHO’LL pay for the much-needed restoration of Buckingham Palace, estimated to cost £35million – the Queen, or the taxpayer? Chancellor George Osborne devised the current settlement whereby HM gets 15 per cent of the annual profits from the £10billion Crown Estate (currently £267million), with the Treasury keeping the other 85 per cent. One option whispered behind HM’s back is sponsorship. But it would need to be discreet, says a source. ‘No palace facade lit in the blue and white stripes of Tesco, or railings painted in the eau de nil and gold of Fortnum & Mason, but could the Croesus-rich, own-half-ofLondon Qataris help?’ THE geniuses who run ITV1 won’t be showing the third series of The Americans, about Russian Cold War spies in Washington, despite having built a following for the show with series one and two – proving that the BBC doesn’t have a monopoly on crass recommissioning decisions. I’ll miss deadly, sexy KGB agent Elizabeth, played by Keri Russell, pictured. PRINCE Charles, sans Camilla, is wandering the Transylvanian countryside from his retreat in the remote Romanian village of Valea Zalanului. He visits his two properties there each spring. They’re maintained and staffed throughout the year. Why Romania? Charles found he was related to Vlad the Impaler, the inspiration for Bram Stoker’s vampire Dracula, via his great-grandmother, Queen Mary. ‘You could say I have a stake in the country,’ the Goon Show fan likes to jest. TORY backbencher Michael Fabricant receives a ‘very jolly note’ from his colleague, London mayor and Tory MP Boris Johnson, stating: ‘Dear Michael. Fantastic effort! Many congrats on getting re-elected and all the best.’ Fantastic effort? Fabricant defended a whopping majority of 17,683, upping it to 18,189. ‘Boris is marshalling his troops for the leadership race,’ explains a Westminster source.