All this pomp is such a flaming waste of time
JOE ROOT taught England a valuable lesson yesterday: the virtue of getting the hell on with it. Root’s century in 118 balls was the fastest in a first Ashes Test and inside the top six for an Englishman in any Ashes series.
That he came in with his team floundering on 43 for three made it more impressive, although it is hard to conclude they were anything but architects of their own downfall early on.
For, good grief, there was some hanging about to be done. Not just due to the weather, which was unpromising but, in the end, not greatly disruptive.
These were all too human delays; unnecessary pomp and circumstance, the standard military invasion and then the regular breaks in play that have become as much a part of cricket’s ebb and flow as a stupor after lunch, or a top-order England collapse.
Having seen in the back-to-back series the havoc the Ashes can play with fragile minds, it was an agenda set by officials and administrators, not players. England’s batsmen no doubt just wanted to get on with the game; to get in the middle where they feel comfortable; to stop thinking and start doing.
Instead, they were made to wait through an orgy of anthem-singing and flag-unfurling. There were fireworks, upwards of 50 soldiers on ceremonial duty and, by the time play started, it was hardly a shock that Adam Lyth did not make it out of the game’s second over. When he got to the middle his head must have been spinning.
And then there was Alastair Cook, the captain’s rhythm expertly broken not by Australia’s bowlers, but by the practice of knocking off for a round of refreshments every hour, no matter the weather.
This meant on a chilly morning when most were regretting not packing a second jumper, rather than sun cream, spectators had to sit through the arrival of the drinks tray roughly 55 minutes in. Maybe they were dispensing hot toddies.
Cook had batted like a dream until then but lasted just two balls after the interlude, before clipping one to Brad Haddin off the bowling of Nathan Lyon. The distractions were proving as valuable as Australia’s bowlers, and Test cricket has plenty of them these days.
Take the national anthems. Not two, but four. For England and Australia, yes. But preceding it we heard from Wales, the hosts, and later the hymn Jerusalem, which has become the unofficial anthem of this team — cricket’s Swing Low, Sweet Chariot. On occasions, it can be powerful, even moving. Yesterday it was just a nuisance.
The start of play had already been delayed by 15 minutes after a shower. Now, there are several things that cannot be done in the rain and playing cricket is one of them. Singing, however, is not. Gene Kelly proved that.
So while the groundstaff fussed with the covers and the forecasters checked the skies, those who needed to start the day by asking God to save the Queen, or for Australians to all rejoice for they are young and free, could have been doing just that.
This would have meant that when the rain stopped, shortly before the start time of 11am, the game could have begun punctually. Instead, when the locals should have been watching the first ball of the Ashes, they were gazing at a series of rather pointless explosions.
Memo to organisers: there is a reason firework displays take place at night. It’s a light thing. They might as well have tried to build excitement with shadow puppets.
Quite why there needs to be a military presence at major sports events these days is also a mystery. America has long been unable to distinguish between the 141st baseball match of the season and Pearl Harbour, but this is a recent development in Britain.
SOLDIERS unfurled the national flags, soldiers ran to roll up red carpets. The players were ready to start, but the soldiers had not been given their orders to leave the field. Eventually they departed.
At the close, Australia had bowled 88 overs, two short. This wasn’t the fault of the soldiers — additional time had been added, so Australia were also sluggish — but it does not help when administrators think a sporting event as compelling as the Ashes also requires bells and whistles. And camouflage gear.
Once the action got under way it was undemanding of embellishment. Cardiff’s groundsman had prepared a dead surface, perhaps to counter the ferocity of Mitchell Johnson. In one way it succeeded — Johnson took none for 87 in 20 overs and was attracting some familiar mockery by the close.
Being a confidence player, who knows if this will set the tone for his series? Yet in neutering Johnson, England caused additional problems. The ball kept low, which is death to a batsman. Three down early, England did not look to have made the smart move.
With little more than an hour expired, Australia had England on the ropes. At this point, Root mounted a quite stupendous revival. He got lucky, as can happen — dropped by Haddin on nought — but the remainder of his innings was masterful.
There have been 37 century partnerships by England batsmen since Root made his debut, and he has been involved in 16 of them. He is the glue holding this batting lineup together, and it is under considerable strain considering Ian Bell has made 56 runs in nine innings.
Take away Root, now the highest run scorer in Test cricket in 2015, and England would have scant chance of reclaiming the urn.