Perfect prescription for our ailing NHS!

THE Royal College of Nursing has weighed in on Prime Minister David Cameron’s health care proposals for the NHS. The allergists voted to scratch it, but the dermatologists advised not to make any rash moves. The gastroenterologists had a sort of a gut feeling about it, but the neurologists thought the administration had a lot of nerve. The obstetricians felt they were all labouring under a misconception. Ophthalmologists considered the idea short-sighted. Pathologists yelled ‘Over my dead body!’, while the paediatricians said: ‘Oh, grow up!’ The psychiatrists thought the whole idea was madness, while the radiologists could see right through it. The surgeons were fed up with the cuts and decided to wash their hands of the whole thing. The ear, nose and throat specialists didn’t swallow it, and just wouldn’t hear of it. The pharmacists thought it was a bitter pill to swallow, and the plastic surgeons said: ‘This puts a whole new face on the matter . . .’ The podiatrists thought it was a step forward, but the urologists were . . . peeved . . . at the whole idea. The anaesthetists thought it was a gas, but the cardiologists didn’t have the heart to say no.

Kay Hevey, Carshalton, Surrey.