Why many older women are coming out as lesbians
It was interesting to read that female sexuality seems to be more flexible than male (Mail).
I’ve long been intrigued by the increase in, and openness of, women starting a lesbian relationship after years of (presumed) happiness in a heterosexual relationship or marriage. One of the more recently documented is that of TV presenter anna Richardson’s relationship with sue Perkins after 18 years with a male partner.
the bond between women has always been closer than that of men; most women have a ‘ best friend’ with whom they share everything from laughter to tears and the deepest, darkest secrets.
Men rarely have this kind of personal closeness with a male friend. women of all ages are very comfortable with kissing and hugging each other while men are more awkward in this respect.
It’s a small step, given certain emotional circumstances, to take that kind of closeness to the next step and, equally, to be happy in being open and confident about a lesbian relationship.
women are generally not afraid openly to admire and appreciate the beauty of other women; men rarely do this, whether through fear (of being thought homosexual) or ego, we know not.
this easy admiration of the same sex leaves women more open to, and certainly less afraid of, a more intimate relationship with another female.
It might also be reasoned that women are far more financially independent than before and don’t necessarily need to be in traditional relationships for economic reasons; two women together can be as successful in monetary terms as a husband and wife.
It helps that history has always been more lenient towards female homosexuality than male. this makes it more acceptable for female couples.
It’s well documented that most teenage girls go through a time of intense crushes on other girls, which is nowhere as prevalent in teenage boys (or maybe they’re not so keen to admit it): it might be that women are, from birth, naturally flexible in their sexuality.
Meanwhile, life progresses in stages. women in their 20s and 30s might be subconsciously geared towards heterosexual relationships that can provide children.
In middle age and later life, women might have a need for a more companionship-based relationship, albeit also a sexual one.
the human condition is ever evolving and if we are fully to enjoy the longer lives we can live, we must accept and embrace the diversity of human relationships. Love, in whatever form, is a gift. Mrs DEBBI MARSHALL,
Spondon, Derbys.
Blindfold chess
a ‘ MIND’s eye’ for visualisation (Mail) is important in the game of chess. Grandmasters can ‘see’ the position on the board many moves ahead, not just calculate the moves to that point.
Playing blindfold in a simultaneous demonstration, they can even defeat a group of strong players.
this ability appears not to be related to IQ or academic ability. I have a high IQ but a low chess grade. I can’t play even one blindfold game, which involves ‘ seeing’ the board positions as the game progresses.
the record for the most blindfold games played was thought to be by Janos Flesch in Budapest in 1960, playing 52 opponents with 31 wins, three draws and 18 losses — but this feat is disputed.
Flesch was sadly killed in a car crash in the UK in the sixties.
the official European record was set by Marc Lang in november 2011, in sontheim, Germany, playing 46 opponents simultaneously and blindfolded, with 25 wins, 19 draws and just two losses. an american record was set in 1960 by Koltanowski in san Francisco, with 56 consecutive blindfold games at ten seconds a move, with 50 wins and six losses over nine hours.
as someone who has run school chess teams and been Lancashire Chess Junior Organiser (1987-98), I’m aware that few schools have clubs or teams, which means that many people are unaware of a special aptitude for chess, as their degree of visualisation remains unknown throughout their lives.
KEN GORMAN, Poulton-le-Fylde, Lancs.
Lords solution
THERE’s an easy solution to membership of the house of Lords (Mail). at every election, a number of capable politicians leave the Commons, some through retirement, others — like Michael Portillo — on a swing away from their party.
One of the biggest casualties in 2015 was douglas alexander, who should surely be the frontrunner in the Labour leadership campaign instead of having being swept away by a barely post-teenage girl.
some will make it to the Lords under the patronage of their party leaders, but what if an MP who had served three terms in the Commons had an automatic right to sit in the Lords? this would give the Lords the legitimacy it has never enjoyed, would iron out the political whim of party leaders and add a wealth of experience to the Upper house.
G. HOLWILL, Exeter, Devon.
Disabled disgrace
My DAUGHTER has multiple sclerosis (Ms), which has drastically reduced her capacity for work over the past 20 years.
despite her disabilities, she has always been employed, though this has been a struggle and she has had to reduce her hours greatly.
with the help of Employment and support allowance (Esa), she has just about managed financially, but recently, due to a relapse, she has had to change her job, managing to find employment for fewer hours so she can cope.
Iain duncan smith promises to ‘support her initiative in finding her own job’ — what a joke. Because her new job isn’t sponsored by a charity or a Jobcentre, she was told she is ineligible for Esa. the advice given to her is to go on long-term sick or unemployment benefits.
she’s appealing against the decision, but for now all her benefits are stopped. what incentive is that for disabled people to go out and find themselves a job?
Mrs P. CASSAM, Axminster, Devon.
Unfair dentist fees
EVERY week I volunteer to work at a local elderly dementia care home, where one of my jobs is to take residents to the dentist. Most of these residents are around 90 years old, but they always have to pay for even a check-up.
One day last week, I took an elderly lady for a check-up and the receptionist immediately asked for the £19.50 fee.
at the time she was dealing with two Eastern European young men and waved them through when they said they were on benefits and all their treatment was free. I was angry at the fact they get free treatment when an elderly lady who has worked all her life and paid her taxes still has to pay for her treatment. It’s unfair and unjust.
Many people these days seem to boast about the large amount of medication they’re on and visit the hospital for more.
we could cure a lot of obesity and back pain simply by reducing or stopping people’s benefits.
the downfall of the Roman Empire was due not to famine or military loses, but to an overgenerous benefit society.
M. BIRCH, Nuneaton, Warks.
Sell off at your peril
SEEING what Chinese investors own in the UK (Mail) makes me wonder if Communist China has a better understanding of economics and finance than the capitalist UK.
at the peak time of privatisation, the argument put forward was that it isn’t the government’s job to employ people.
to make them a viable investment, colossal amounts of money were used to modernise industries, before they were sold off. then the small investors were soon swallowed up by the big ones.
we have foreign governments such as australia, France, Germany, India and China employing British workers — and making a fantastic return on their investment.
People tend to forget harold Macmillan, possibly one of our best prime ministers, saying that the government was ‘selling off the family silver’.
here was a successful businessman, a staunch capitalist, advocating supposedly socialist policies.
FRED TURTON, Sellindge, Kent.