CASE STUDY
NO ONE warns you about the impact IVF can cun on your relationship. We endured three successful cycles, which nearly broke our maarriage.
You live and breathe IVF; you think about it every minute of every day. And when it doesn’t work, you find yourselves grieving separately.
During our third attempt, James said he didn’t want children any more because he felt he was losing me. I’d become so bitter about others having babies around me. So imagine our dis tress when we discovered — just as we were about to embark on a fourth cycle —that all that struggle and pain had been needless. That the £6,000 we’d spent was money down the drain.
A £200 fertility ‘MOT’ revealed what doctors should have a fibroid found at the outset — I had a in my womb. I had no chance of getting pregnant, artificially or naturally, until it was removed.
We started trying for a baby in 2007. Both personal trainers, we were fit and healthy and not in a rush. But after three years of nothing happening, we saw our GP. James had a sperm test, my eggs were checked and I had a dye test to highlight any blockages in the fallopian tubes. All came back fine.
A year later, the doctor suggested we start IVF as I was 36. There were no further examinations; we had an IVF consultation and were told we were good candidates.
After the first cycle failed, we were advised to try again. At that point we decided to go private, thinking our treatment would be better. When that didn’t work either, we were distraught. Why us? We wanted to get to the root of the problem but the doctors just said to pay for a third cycle.
We’re not wealthy, but by this point I would do anything to get pregnant. I paid extra for acupuncture, after they said that might help.
It was when considering a fourth cycle that a friend recommended a clinic on Harley Street where I had the ultrasound, which cost just £200. That’s when we were told I had a fibroid, which blocked sperm from reaching the eggs. Our professor was appalled that previous doctors had got as far as implanting embryos without noticing.
At first I was relieved: after years being told my infertility was ‘unexplained’, we had an answer. Then came anger. We’d wasted seven years. All that heartache and money for nothing.
I had the fibroid removed under general anaesthetic in January 2012. Two months later, to our great shock, I fell pregnant naturally. Joshua was born in January 2013 and Mia in May of this year.
We feel incredibly lucky. But going through the wrong treatment for so long was financially and emotionally draining — by speaking out we hope others can avoid our fraught journey.