I want to be loved, says cricket cheat Amir
Spot-fixing cheat gives first interview as his ban ends
Mohammad amir is clear on the message he wants to convey as he makes his first tentative steps back on a journey he feared would never happen but which he now hopes will culminate with a return to international cricket. ‘I just want to say sorry to everybody who has supported me throughout the last five years and to those who were disappointed in me but above all I want to apologise to my nation,’ says the Pakistani who was once the most exciting young fast bowler in world cricket.
‘I let everybody down but I will return with honesty and dignity. I want to make it up to them and I want to do that by representing Pakistan again.’
The words are chosen carefully and delivered in an English language he still does not speak fluently. But they seem genuine and heart-felt and it is an apology he hopes and needs to be accepted throughout the cricketing community.
For mohammad amir has much to be sorry for. he was the teenage star with the cricketing world at his feet who threw it all away by bowling two huge no-balls to order during a Test match for Pakistan against England at Lord’s.
They were to prove the most costly no-balls of his young life. For not only did they jeopardise his future in the game but they sentenced him to a criminal trial at Southwark Crown Court and a guilty verdict that ended up with him serving three months in a young offender institution in dorset.
his ban from international cricket ended yesterday and, in his first major interview since being free to play for his country again, amir is cautiously asking for forgiveness.
Five years after his offence and four after being imprisoned, the bowler wants to represent Pakistan.
‘I am very excited but I’m very conscious of what is ahead of me,’ amir told Sportsmail from his home in Lahore. ‘It will not be easy and I’m not expecting it to be. I have a big challenge ahead but I am looking forward to it.
‘There was a time when I was in prison that I was sure I wouldn’t play cricket again. It was a very tough time but the people close to me kept me strong. They all believed in me and that gave me the belief that I was right to carry on and try to get back in the game.
‘I’ve kept myself fit and I’m training hard now, bowling every day for an hour and spending two hours each day in the gym. I’m confident I can become the bowler I was. You will see the same mohammad amir as before, inshallah.’
The old mohammad amir — he prefers amir to aamer — looked certain to have a long future at the very top of the game as the symbol of a brighter cricketing future for Pakistan before his fall from grace. he reached 50 wickets in just 14 Tests, the quickest in history, and looked a worthy heir to Pakistani greats like Imran Khan, Wasim akram and Waqar Younis. Then his world came crashing down.
Cricket, in particular a Pakistani game that is seldom short of controversy, was plunged into unprecedented crisis when he was found, via a News of the World sting, to have complied with his captain Salman Butt and senior bowler mohammad asif in a bookmaker’s plan to manipulate a Lord’s Test for money.
Yet while Butt and asif bore the brunt of the condemnation and seem highly unlikely to ever play for their country again there has always been a pang of sympathy for amir because of his age, talent and perceived naivety.
‘Please don’t let it be the kid,’ said Nasser hussain on that desperate Sunday at Lord’s in 2010 when it became known that three Pakistan players had become embroiled in another match-fixing controversy. But ‘ the kid’, heartbreakingly, it most certainly was.
To be in court when Justice Cooke delivered his verdict on the three players was to stretch that compassionate urge to the limit for he was in no doubt that amir knew exactly what he was doing. I remember writing that the judge had ‘ stripped away and laid bare the veneer of amir’s vulnerability’.
Yet he showed more contrition than his senior, highly influential team-mates from the start. Just take a look at an infamous picture of him receiving his man- of-theseries award from then ECB chairman Giles Clarke at Lord’s on the dark day the now defunct News of the World exposed the trio.
Clarke can barely bring himself to look at the 18-year- old sensation but amir’s face looks stricken with guilt and shame too. his noballs were huge, estimated at nine inches and 12 inches, and did not look the act of a man who had experience of deliberately overstepping. asif by contrast just about overstepped when he was paid to do so, with the skill of a practitioner who very much knew what he was doing.
amir was to become the only one of the three who pleaded guilty to charges of conspiracy to accept corrupt payments and conspiracy to cheat and since his release he has shown remorse for his crimes and attempted to rebuild his life in the correct manner.
The International Cricket Council were impressed enough with his willingness to undergo rehabilitation and take part in educational programmes aimed at stopping players making the same mistakes as him that they allowed him to play domestic cricket again ahead of schedule last January.
Now he is available for Pakistan again at a time when they are preparing to face England in the United arab Emirates in october and are looking ahead to their first tour of England next year since the ill-fated visit in 2010.
It would be some story if amir, still only 23 and potentially with a long career ahead of him, faces England again in either of those series, particularly if he plays at Lord’s again. The long flowing hair has gone, indicative of a fresh start, and he appears more worldly-wise than when last he was in the public eye.
‘The last five years have been a huge loss and of course a huge source of regret,’ said amir, speaking at times through a translator in his new manager Syed Noman. ‘my life was torn apart and I went through a form of mental torture through being excluded from the game. But I know it was my fault.
‘That time away gave me plenty of time for reflection and to grow as a cricketer and a man. I have a lot to prove and I believe I can prove it. I have come through this because I have a great support network and my wife in particular has played a special part in keeping me strong. She kept faith in me after the incident and prayed that I would return to cricket. Thanks to her I have.’
amir will not go into detail over his time behind bars apart from repeatedly saying how tough it was nor does he want to go back on why he allowed Butt in particular to manipulate him. he just wants to look forward to the key question of whether he can force his way back into the Pakistan team and whether he can be accepted back by a team who, it appears, are now ‘clean’.
The Pakistan players are said to be divided about whether the young star should be granted a second chance. Test captain misbah-ul-haq is known to have his doubts, while Twenty20 captain Shahid afridi said last week that Pakistan have to be careful before welcoming any of the trio back.
amir is adamant that he has had nothing but support from the players. ‘I’ve met up with a few players and they have all been very supportive, they have all been like family members,’ he insists. ‘That made me happy and reassured that I am doing the right thing.
‘There will be pressure. The eyes of the cricketing world will be on me and watching to see how I get on. I know that and I accept it. I’m confident I can prove to everybody that I’m truly sorry and that I still have a place in the game.’
his early progress in domestic cricket in Pakistan has been encouraging. he has played for the Rawalpindi Rams in Twenty20 cricket, taking five wickets in four matches, while taking 22 wickets in eight innings in the Patron’s Trophy, the level below first-class cricket in his country.
Now he is going to step up his comeback in first- class cricket with the Sui Southern Gas Company throughout September when he hopes he can present a case for inclusion against England.
‘I can never get back the years I’ve lost but I can try to accomplish a lot more in any opportunities I have. I have learned from the past and I only want to look to the future.
‘I need to thank the ICC because they have been very fair with me. They allowed me to start playing again in January and that gave me the boost to think that I really could return to the game and reach
the highest level again. That has been the inspiration all along.
‘I’ve played in two tournaments in Pakistan and the public and my teammates were very good to me. Everybody appeared to want me to come back and I didn’t face any bad feeling. That gave me strength.
‘But I can’t focus on international cricket. I need to play for Rawalpindi and I need to play first- class cricket. If and when I come back will totally depend on the selectors and the PCB.
‘I just have to bowl as well as I can and prove to people that I am good enough and deserve a second chance. I want to be loved by the fans again.’ I can still see Mohammad Amir being led away from the dock at Southwark late in 2011, holdall in hand and head down, where he was to burst into tears as soon as he disappeared from public view. He paid a heavy price for becoming involved with the wrong people but he is still a young man and he can achieve much in the game, not least in becoming a role model for those who are tempted to cheat. He deserves the chance to put right the wrongs that saw his promising young life torn apart.