My sympathy for whining Cheryl is wearing thin
SquEAk, squeak. What is that noise? It is the sound of a mouse roaring. The Minnie Mouse of Pop, to be exact. Cheryl Fernandez-Versini is annoyed at those who have criticised her weight loss in recent months. ‘This body- shaming has to stop. Something has to be done, changed, even if it’s done in law,’ she squeaked this week. In fact, she is so darned upset that she wants the law changed so that anyone who comments on her Twiglet frame and tiny waist can be prosecuted.
Sigh. I suppose that includes me, as I wrote about her ‘protruding ribs’ and ‘horrifying sparrow-wing shoulder blades’ a few weeks ago.
But Cheryl, in mitigation, only as part of my theory that your gaunt appearance is testament to the extreme commercial and professional pressures female celebrities are under today. Pressures that would break most women. And that you deserve support and understanding, rather than ridicule.
So under the new Cheryl’s Law perhaps I’ll only get a few months in solitary for my offence. Hard labour, of course, on bread and dripping rations, at that.
But I could do with losing some weight, so it’s win-win for me and St Cheryl of Twiglet. Or is it? Actually, I still have issues.
In her interview with the London Evening Standard, Cheryl also said: ‘I can take whatever they [the Press] throw at me after 13 years. What worries me is what it’s doing to the younger generation. And some of the people writing this stuff are women. There is no sisterhood.’
Hold it right there for a second, Minnie. Sisterhood? Don’t make me laugh.
THIS from a woman who was once charged and found guilty of assaulting a female lavatory assistant. Whose adoption and promulgation of feminist causes from then to now have been noticeable by their absence. And who promoted a L’Oreal shampoo for women while wearing sneaky, lustrous hair extensions.
In the end, the Advertising Standards Authority rejected complaints about the campaign because — in tiny, gnat- sized writing — it had stated that the Girls Aloud star’s hair had been artificially enhanced.
Cheryl’s ad may have obeyed the letter of the law, but in spirit many women felt duped by her appearance.
And now this. A law to shut up those who dare to raise a batsqueak of concern or criticise the way she looks.
Yes, never mind the people in the world without security, peace, running water, health or access to education. Forget the collapse of the Chinese stock market, the iniquities of our battered justice system, migrant children dying on beaches. Someone has said a Bad Thing about wee Cheryl and she wants it to stop.
Actually, all the worst comments I read about Cheryl were on the internet, not in newspapers. And everywhere I look there is concern and kindness about her appearance, more than anything else.
Speculation about her dramatic weight loss has been made worse by the mixed messages that Cheryl has been sending out.
The 32-year-old X Factor judge first said it was down to one thing, then it was something else. In no particular order, it was due to the stress of dealing with a stalker; stress following the death of her father-in-law whom she had known only briefly; because she had a bug; the result of her ‘ muscle memory’ because she had been working out. ‘I am happy and very healthy,’ she insists.
Yet she keeps pumping out a series of images on Instagram and other social media outlets that, if anything, glorify her slender frame. The message is that whatever anyone else believes, she thinks she looks amazing.
Shouldn’t she at least be open about whatever is going on? For if anything is having a malignant effect on the next generation of young women, it is the incredibly shrinking Cheryl.
I think we would all agree that it is never very pleasant when people make uncomplimentary remarks about your appearance. Particularly if you have built a lifestyle and a multi-millionpound fortune on the back of those looks.
Let us be frank. Cheryl’s entire career is based on her not inconsiderable beauty.
She has posed and pouted and modelled and invited comment and celebration on her face and figure since she first stepped out with Girls Aloud. There is no point in bleating about the attention now, just because it has taken a negative turn.
I have sympathy with Cheryl. I hope she gets through whatever she is going through. But she is way off beam on this one.
The rules and laws of this country are not to be messed with by rich and famous people who feel peeved and outraged because all of a sudden they are not getting enough compliments.