I WAS FINE UNTIL THE MENOPAUSE

Rose Buxton-Smith, 60, is a receptionist at a mental health unit and lives in Maidstone, Kent, with husband Paul, 61, who works for the ambulance service. Rose hasa a daughter Beth, 25. She says: MosTM mornings, I sleepily stretch my armar across the bed to reach for Paul only to discover he has decamped to the sparesp bedroom to escape my thunderous snoring.sn Again.

AfterA 17 years of marriage waking to an emptyem bed leaves me feeling fretful and insecure.in Recently, I even asked Paul if there was more to his absences from our marital bed than just my snoring. Was it that his fe feelings for me were dwindling, I worried?

I had never felt an inkling of insecurity in ou our marriage before, and as the question l left my lips, I knew I was being silly. Paul reassured me that he simply needs a good night’s sleep, not least so he can function properly at work. Having occasionally woken myself up snoring, even I know how loud it is.

And if further proof was needed, when my daughter Beth and her daughters, Freya, five, and Evie, four, come to stay, she and Paul argue over the spare room, as neither wants to share a bedroom with me.

It was Beth who insisted I see my GP three years ago. Having lain awake next to me listening to my snoring one night, she was convinced that I was also suffering from sleep apnoea, where breathing stops momentarily.

My doctor referred me to Kent and Canterbury Hospital where I spent the night in a sleep chamber rigged with sensors to detect breathing patterns.

Apnoea was ruled out but there has been no let-up in my snoring, which has since defied such over-the- counter remedies as nasal breathing strips.

Although I am partial to the odd glass of wine, which doctors say can be a factor, I don’t smoke and am not overweight at a size 14. I believe the menopause is to blame and my theory may be supported by science.

After the menopause, there is a drop in levels of oestrogen and progesterone, which help protect and support muscles around the airways. Paul has complained that I snore only since I started the change in late 2010.

Paul does snore a bit sometimes but not excessively — I don’t decamp when it’s him. We are a tactile couple; we hold hands when we are out and often give one another spontaneous kisses and cuddles.

I worry how our relationship will be affected if we have to continue sleeping separately 90 per cent of the time, just as we have done for the past two years. Husband Paul says: RosE is away on a course in London this week and although I am missing her, I can’t deny that I am also relishing the respite from her snoring.

When it began five years ago as a gentle rumbling sound, I thought perhaps she was coming down with a cold. Now, the decibels have gone up several notches, punctuated by horrifically loud snores that could wake the whole street.

still, I never go straight to the spare room at bedtime. It would hardly be conducive to a harmonious marriage not to at least try to fall asleep next to my lovely wife, hoping that one of these nights her snoring will cease.

The trouble is I lie in bed expecting to hear snoring at any moment and the more I anticipate it, the more elusive sleep becomes. so most nights I tiptoe to the spare room. Even then I can sometimes hear her snoring through the walls.

The only other things that wake me during the night are booming thunder and the sound of heavy rain bouncing off the roof of our conservatory below.

I don’t get angry with Rose. After all, she is not doing it on purpose and I know she feels guilty about disturbing me.

Fortunately we have a strong marriage and are conscious of not allowing this to escalate into a problem, always ensuring that we share a cuddle in our marital bed before we go to sleep.