Ho ho no! Xmas turkey that deserves a roasting
THeRe is really no need for the film industry to keep pace with the food industry in its production of christmas turkeys, yet it always does. The biggest of them this year, the 20lb norfolk Bronze, is christmas With The coopers, a picture so witless, charmless and ultimately pointless that one wonders how on earth it reached the big screen. Maybe because it has a quality cast: John Goodman, diane Keaton, Steve Martin and alan arkin are among those whose mighty reputations glitter just a little bit less by the end. Goodman and Keaton play Sam and charlotte cooper, who after 40 years of marriage have decided to separate. But theirs is only one story of several, as we learn why life is also pretty rotten for other members of their supposedly dysfunctional family, at least until the inevitable eruption of cheap sentimentality at the
end, in a collective dancing scene so icky and false that it should be shown to student filmmakers as an example of indulgences to avoid. There’s also a foulmouthed little girl whom we are meant to consider cute, and an unbearably twee narration (by Martin) that includes meaningless lines such as: ‘For a brief moment, time was their friend.’ You might well gag when you find out who the narrator is actually supposed to be. In the meantime, for those suffering in the audience as this ghastly film limps on, time seems very much like the enemy.
The pick of the week’s Christmas-themed releases is
Krampus, a comedy-horror film somewhat heavier on horror than comedy, but skilfully accomplished by writer-director Michael Dougherty and with a raft of fine performances. Toni Collette and Adam Scott play Sarah and Tom, a couple bracing themselves for the Christmas eve arrival of her sister (Allison Tolman) plus horrible husband and kids. But there’s another, even worse arrival, in the terrifying form of Krampus, a demonic ogre who, according to mittel-european folklore, captures disobedient children at Christmas. The story is told mainly from the point of view of Sarah and Tom’s sweet son Max (emjay Anthony), and there’s a twist at the end so predictable that it barely deserves to be called a twist. But you’ll have a much better time with this terrorised clan than with the awful Coopers.