I’ve been a figure of fun but I’ll fight back, says Monty
MONTY Panesar has set his sights on a Test return next winter after emerging from a dark period in which he was bedevilled by paranoid thoughts and regarded himself as ‘a figure of fun’.
The left-arm spinner played the most recent of his 50 Tests at Melbourne during the 2013-14 Ashes whitewash, but made only three championship appearances for Essex last season amid rumours about his erratic behaviour and questionable attitude. The county released him in September.
Things got so bad that Panesar considered quitting the game altogether. But, after undergoing hypnotherapy and psychotherapy, and working closely with mentor Neil Burns, he now feels ready to add to the 167 Test wickets that made him one of the most popular and easily recognised figures on the world stage.
Assuming Panesar is snapped up again by a county — and the dearth of quality spinners in English cricket suggests that will not be an issue — he intends to bowl himself on to the tours of Bangladesh and India in 2016-17.
It was in India that he made his Test debut a decade ago, claiming Sachin Tendulkar as his first wicket at Nagpur. And in late 2012 he claimed 11 in the match as England stunned the Indians in Mumbai. A comeback in the subcontinent would bring with it happy associations.
‘That’s my aim,’ he said. ‘I love bowling in India and I love challenging myself against top players of spin. I believe my recent experiences on and off field can help me be a better performer. I am wiser about myself and life.
‘In April I was talking about retiring. I fell out of love with the game and with life in general. I felt the world was against me. I thought I was a figure of fun. But I always tried my best and always practised really hard. If it’s not good enough for other people so be it, but my values are hard work and honesty.’
Panesar’s recovery from a state of mind in which he became convinced that others, including team-mates, were out to get him is a poignant reminder of the importance of sportsmen opening up about their mental issues.
‘I was in denial and had a fear of others’ negative judgment of me,’ he said. ‘I thought it was stronger to be silent. But I now realise it’s a strength to be honest and show vulnerability.
‘Over the last nine months I have had some special people who have my best interests at heart.’
He must now recover from a shoulder injury that prevented him taking up an invitation from Andy Flower, the ECB’s technical director of elite coaching, to join the England Performance Programme in the UAE.
Panesar has already been working on his action, reconnected with his Sikh faith and rekindled his love of cricket, attending the Royal London One-Day Cup final between Surrey and Gloucestershire at Lord’s in September as an enthusiastic spectator. Once he is back in training, Burns is convinced Panesar can rediscover the ‘magic in his fingers’. English cricket is hoping the same.
Meanwhile, Pakistan paceman Mohammad Amir could return to Test cricket in England next summer, six years on from the no-ball scandal at Lord’s that put him and two team-mates in prison.
The chairman of the Pakistan board, Shaharyar Khan, said the 23-year- old ‘has done enough with his performances to warrant a place in the Pakistan team and we are considering him’.
The Pakistan set-up is split on the idea of Amir’s return, but coach Waqar Younis said: ‘He has served five years punishment and deserves a second chance.’
“I fell out of love with the game and life”