Beware: Online shopping at Wine O’clock will give you a terrible hangover!

THERE was a time, not so long ago, when shopping required some effort. You had to get yourself to a shop in the first place.

Then there was the problem of parking. Next, you trundled around with bags hanging off your arm, some of which had a habit of cutting off the circulation in your arm in the process (I’m looking at you, Gap plastic bags with the drawstring).

Oh, and don’t forget the pain of negotiating crowds and, worse, changing rooms with soul-destroying lighting. But that’s a thing of the past. Now, it’s all about the internet. Whether it’s for clothes, food or presents, I’ve spent more time shopping from the comfort of my own sofa this year than ever before.

So you would think that, by now, I’d be good at it. But there’s one thing that rarely featured in my pre-internet shopping days and something I hold entirely responsible for my less-than-perfect purchases.

Step forward a cool, crisp glass of white. Or a warming, juicy glass of red. OK, sometimes it’s pink and other times it’s got bubbles in it. Whatever, I’m talking wine, consumed after the children’s bedtime, at 8pm.

As a working mother who tastes wine for a living, there’s a lot of wine in my house. But given that I’m usually exhausted and a complete lightweight, I tend to drink little and often.

There’s nothing quite like that first sip to leave the stresses and strains of the day behind.

And when I read this week that Alison Loehnis, boss of the internet fashion retail giant Net-a-Porter, says that early evening is their busiest time for orders, I understood entirely. ‘There’s definitely this time — end of day, with friends, having put the children to bed, maybe they’re out, on their mobiles — and it’s like wine o’clock,’ she said.

‘They decide they’re going to order some stuff. It tends not to be a jogging bra; it’s something a bit dreamier.’

She was talking directly to shoppers like me. Give me a good glass of wine and suddenly anything with sequins looks as if it belongs in my closet. And so it is that hidden away at one end of my wardrobe is a sea of sequins and glitter: jumpers, tops, handbags, belts, even shimmering shoes.

It’s a treasure trove of sparkles to bedeck the elegant owner as she goes off to hit the dance floor in killer heels and bouncy hair.

The problem is I don’t do that any more. In fact, I never really did. But when I’m surfing the virtual shelves from my sofa, it’s the shiny stuff that appeals — it’s like wine o’clock unleashes my inner magpie. I have to admit poor purchase decisions are not restricted to clothes. Nowadays, I do most of my grocery shopping online, too.

AS WITH the clothes, it’s mostly done once the children are in bed. I’ve got the hang of it now that I’ve got my ‘ favourites’ list, but once in the early days I meant to buy six carrots, but instead ordered six bags. It’s a wonder I didn’t turn the family orange.

A friend confesses how she finds herself drawn to fake tan after wine o’clock. She starts thinking of summer holidays and sun-kissed skin. She’s done the full spectrum from pale yellow to burnt sienna, all of which is stashed away in her bathroom like a dirty secret.

So, why do we make bad choices when shopping online? It’s not just the wine; it’s the fact we don’t need to spend much time or effort.

The bulk of my Christmas shopping took me only an hour. As I popped things into my virtual basket, the online retailer suggested related presents that the family might like (so thoughtful!) and I didn’t even have to get up from the sofa to pay.

I’m just hoping they don’t start selling wine in sequined cases. Then I’m in real trouble.

The Knackered Mother’s Wine Club by Helen McGinn (Pan Macmillan, £7.99).