AN INSPECTOR CALLS
A MAN’S head pops up over the wall from the thatched cottage next door — and he’s not happy.
‘The council has to inform us if there is going to be live music and we have not been informed and so you will have to stop,’ he says to the guitarist, one half of a jazzy duo taking a break from their set in the garden of the Fuzzy Duck.
The manager then enters into negotiations. We have nothing against the music in itself but our sympathies are with the neighbour, who probably moved to the Warwickshire hamlet of Armscote — not far from Stratfordupon-Avon — to get away from exactly this sort of situation.
On the other hand, he’s got a decent bar and restaurant on his doorstep, thanks to siblings Tania Fossey and Adrian Slater, the family behind the Baylis & Harding beauty brand. They opened the Fuzzy Duck two years ago in an old blacksmith’s.
It’s tastefully put together, with four rooms upstairs, all named after ducks. Ours is Indian Runner, which is cramped rather than small. There’s no bath or wardrobe and the only place to park a case comfortably is on top of the tiny leather vanity desk. But the duvet and pillows are gloriously duck-like fluffy and we’re invited to help ourselves to all sorts of Baylis & Harding lotions.
We’re here on a Saturday night and the staff can’t cope. There’s a private dinner going on in the conservatory and the main restaurant is heaving. We take our gin and tonics (there’s an impressive gin menu with nine different options) to the garden and a waiter says he will come for our orders but never shows.
At dinner, the service is haphazard. It takes for ever to get two glasses of wine on the table and our request for bread and olives doesn’t bring any rewards for at least 15 minutes. They’ve run out of steaks and so we order one burger without the bun and one rump of lamb, both reasonable.
Next morning brings with it a sense of calm and a chance to admire the stone floor in the cosy bar, the stack of wellies for those who fancy a waddle, the black and white photographs and the charming accent of the Ukrainian woman married to a Lithuanian who serves us a delicious breakfast and then practically embraces us as we say our goodbyes.
The Fuzzy Duck’s heart is in the right place. It just needs fewer guests or more staff.
The Fuzzy Duck Armscote Warks CV37 8DD Tel: 01608 682 635, www.fuzzyduckarmscote.com Doubles from £110