Haunted by the tragedy of our beloved little boy
I was walking with my husband, doing some shopping, when my waters broke and our nine months of joyful preparation came to an end — soon, the first fruit of our marriage was in our arms.
But I woke from my blissful dream, still sweating, frantically feeling my stomach, only to be reminded that my sweet, full-term first-born was in the neo-natal unit, fighting for his life, a life that had started out healthy but was broken when a series of mistakes were made during his birth, leaving him with irreparable brain damage.
No one knew how to deal with me; the ward physio was confused to find me without a baby and the paediatrician wanted to talk to my husband first. she said a lot, but I heard her say only one thing: ‘Your baby may still die.’
He didn’t die and has lived on borrowed time for seven years. But it’s his mother who has been a mess. Nobody cared as they went about their business. The midwife who made the mistake isn’t bothered, the nurses forget (they have others to help), the paediatrician ticks boxes and turns the page.
Yet life goes on. I sit in the car outside the special school where my first-born continues his quest to achieve his full potential. I’m alone with my thoughts, as I have been so many times.
Not once have I been asked if I needed help. Not once have I been offered encouragement or counselling. Not once has anyone from the NHs put an arm around me or lent me a shoulder to cry on.
I haven’t time for postnatal depression in my schedule of appointments, forms to fill in, letters to write, applications to send, phone calls to make. I linger in and out of sleep, between my child waking hourly at night, and imagine a world in which all NHs workers will have basic training in spotting and handling postnatal depression.
I face every day with buried feelings, painful thoughts, haunting images of the birth. I do it with my husband, my friends and my God.
Mrs LOTTI ELLIS, Rudgwick, Sussex.
Bed ’n’ breakage
IT Is all very well telling everyone how to join AIRBnB (Mail), but if you don’t tell your insurance company you are renting rooms in your house to strangers in return for money, effectively making your home a commercial enterprise, you are invalidating the terms of your household insurance, both buildings and contents.
Earning a few quid, only to find a claim rejected for non-disclosure of a material fact is something no one wants. we’ve had clients mention they are involved with AIRBnB, and once we have informed insurers, the underwriters have withdrawn cover, applied additional terms or advised them they won’t invite renewal if the practice continues. MARK COFFER, Marrs Insurance Brokers, Brookmans Park, Herts.
Cure for NHS ills
LAST month, I had a quadruple by-pass at southampton University Hospital, one of the world’s finest for this type of operation.
all went well, and I was ready to be discharged: the doctor had completed my documents and confirmed the medication I required for the next 28 days.
I was up at 7.30am, dressed and told that everything would be completed for me to leave between 1pm and 3pm. My daughter and my wife came to collect me at 2.30pm.
at 4pm, I asked a nurse why my medication hadn’t arrived and was told it was still in the pharmacy. I left at 7.45pm. all day the bed I had been sitting on, waiting, could have been used by another patient.
speaking with others who have been in hospital, all said that the number one failure with the system was the discharge procedure, in particular the delay in getting medicine from the pharmacy.
This should be a priority, ensuring a hospital is efficient and would release urgently needed beds.
CHRIS DOWDING, Bournemouth.
Unsound assumptions
WE ARE told that the sound of your voice reveals clues to what you look like (Mail). I wish.
I work in a contact centre for my local authority. I answer many calls and at least two people a day say how young I sound.
They assume I am not old enough to remember various things. I am 64 and probably look nothing like people imagine. SUSANNAH ANSCOMBE,
Nottingham.
Shameful MPs
I AM not sure that the sentences given to the asian men for abusing children and girls in Keighley were too lenient, but I am sure that others should have been sentenced for this crime much earlier.
That they weren’t was due to one of the most shameful occurrences in this country’s long parliamentary history.
In 2003, ann Cryer MP, Labour, Keighley, rose to describe events troubling her constituents: the misuse of young girls by asian men — but she was not allowed to continue because a demonstration took place. The protesters objected to her use of the word ‘asian’.
Ms Cryer’s voice was drowned out in that revered home of free speech. The protesters were more interested in proving their adherence to multi-culturalism.
some of those present have since pontificated about this practice and how it has spread throughout the land.
Parents, police and politicians have been blamed, along with overworked social workers, for not curtailing it. No blame has been laid at the door of the MPs who were there the day the abusers were given the green light to carry on with their activities.
Police and others took the position that any action against such activity ran counter to the aims of multi-culturalism.
The Commons owes Ms Cryer a deep apology. WALTER CHAMBERLAIN, Bournemouth, Dorset.
Down the plughole
NEVER go to court unless you have £1,500 or so for a lawyer. My son represented himself and was taken apart by a smart lawyer appearing for the other side. He and his wife must now pay £4,000 in costs.
Much of what went on in court was unfair. The case was accurately reported in the local paper and followed up by a news agency reporter. she personally went to take a look at the cause of my son’s action — a neighbour’s splashing water filtration system — and observed the sound of it ‘made her want to go to the toilet’.
a few hours later, a story of the matter appeared on a news website and that statement was attributed to my daughter-in-law — who was not even present at the time.
The quote even made it into the headline on the website: ‘Couple blow £ 4,000 on two- year legal battle with neighbour over ‘noisy’ water feature they claim makes them need the loo.’
Immediately, more than 300 readers piled in with their opinions, many made stupid remarks about going to the toilet, and some were downright insulting or sexist.
The following day, a fair account of the matter was published on page three of the Daily Mail. Nine days later, the BBC contacted my son and his wife with an invitation from vanessa Feltz’s radio show. ‘No thanks,’ said my son.
I have no problem with the judgment against my son, and I have no doubt he will rise again. But it is unreasonable that he should be, in effect, fined £4,000 for daring to complain. Don’t go to court without money.
ALAN SMITH, Shenfield, Essex.