Ephraim Hardcastle
CURMUDGEONLY ex-cricketer Geoffrey Boycott’s boast that the Duchess of Cornwall asked to be seated next to him at lunch in the Wimbledon Royal Box last year has been confirmed by Camilla’s son Tom Parker Bowles. She is fond of him and is likely to rearrange this year’s Wimbledon seating plan to sit beside him again. Isn’t it odd that with such royal support Boycott still hasn’t got his K? The lowly OBE he received in 1980 he gave to his cat. BBC sports commentator Alison Mitchell shouldn’t expect a gong any time soon. Revealing that the Victorian loos in Buckingham Palace don’t have toilet seats during her Lord’s Test Match commentary, Mitchell went on to admit she had taken a photograph, something you must never do inside the Queen’s home. The BBC’s Royal Liaison Officer Graham Ellis, whose job is to keep the palace happy, must have been screaming at the radio as Mitchell (having realised her faux pas) kept digging a hole. Fortunately for Ellis, his award of an LVO from a grateful monarch had already been announced. COMEDIAN John Cleese, 76, pictured, takes issue on Twitter with being described as a ‘bald Englishman’, firing back: ‘I am not NOT bald! Just.. .thinning a little. And it’s all MY hair, even if I’ve had it redistributed a bit.’ Cleese previously admitted to paying for a hair transplant, explaining: ‘I have got a very strange shaped head. It’s very pointy. And I don’t like wearing wigs.’ Does fourth wife Jennifer, Cleese’s junior by more than 30 years, explain the old fool’s vanity? PRINCE Philip attended his first Privy Council meeting in over 30 years at Buckingham Palace last week, when Prince William and the Duchess of Cornwall were sworn in. Until now, only Philip and Prince Charles have been royal members. In ensuring that both the next consort and heir to the throne are already members, they will be able to take a full part in the proclamation of Charles as King when the formal Accession Council is held, something Princess Elizabeth and Prince Philip were unable to do on the death of George VI. ROYAL Ascot bookmakers face an awkward time today setting odds on what colour the Queen will wear. Having already appeared in yellow, lime green and fuchsia, options are limited. The Queen avoids wearing the same colour in a week wherever possible. Enterprising staff at Windsor Castle have been known to earn a bit on the side by tipping off a bookmaker as to what the Queen is wearing. Her choice of lime green for Trooping the Colour amused the troops, some relaxing after Saturday’s parade in a pub close to Wellington Barracks raised raucous toasts to Kermit the Queen. WHILE Boris Johnson, 51, denies using hair dye, one-time Tory colleague Michael Portillo, 63, has long endured mockery about his frequently-coloured barnet. Recalling sitting close to Miguel during a Radio 4 debate, one commentator expressed shock, saying: ‘Maybe it works on TV, but it was a terrible hue for radio; an even chestnut in the gloom, like the brown-haired Action Man none of us wanted to be given as boys.’