Straight to the POINT

÷ WITH the closure of public conveniences at seaside resorts, will buckets and spades become more essential than ever?

HUGH TURNER, Braintree, Essex. ÷ CAN David Cameron and his Project Fear team let me know when World War III, black plague and earthquakes are likely to start, as I would like to book a week’s holiday in the Lake District?

VIC CROSS, Hornchurch, Essex. ÷ IF THE EU issued shares, would you buy them?

PETER STAFFERTON, Flitwick, Beds. ÷WITH STUDENTS branded ‘shameful’ and ‘insensitive’ after they ‘blacked up’ (Mail), what about a Left-winger dressing as a woman to appear on Question Time?

BRIAN CHRISTLEY, Abergele, Conwy. ÷ COOL, professional and decisive ITN presenter Julie Etchingham should give David Dimbleby some lessons on how to chair a debate.

PATRICIA PRIEST, Redditch, Worcs. ÷ THE report about the Yorkshireman being issued with a sexual risk order, where he has to give 24 hours’ notice before he has sex, reminds me of home.

MIKE CATTERALL, Accrington, Lancs. ÷ HOW horrible to see two of our worst PMs on pro-EU programmes. It’s time for Blair to pack up his millions and retire and for Major to hitch up his Y-fronts, tuck in his vest and slope off to oblivion.

MIKE SMYTH, Grimsby, Lincs. ÷ GENEROUS civil service pensions (Letters)? I served for 29 years as a prison officer and retired on a colossal gold-plated pension of £723 a month — not even enough to live on.

Name and address supplied. ÷ HAS Project Fear turned into Project Panic?

MICK BRIDGSTOCK, Rushden, Northants.