SEPP GIVES US THE LOWDOWN ABOUT FIXING

DO you know how to rob a bank? Not stocking over the head, give us all your money, like you’ve seen on the films. Do you know police response times, the precise location of the cash, how it is accessed, how long you need to open the security boxes, whether you can actually open security boxes, the real nitty gritty of criminality? No, me neither. Yet Sepp Blatter (right) gave La Nacion newspaper in Argentina a very detailed rundown on how to fix a draw, and claimed he had seen it happen around European tournaments. Cold balls are the key, apparently, not hot ones. You leave them in a refrigerator, according to Blatter, making them easy to detect. Never happened at FIFA, he says, but you know what UEFA are like. Shifty. Amazing, isn’t it? For a man who has not worked a crooked day in his life, Blatter always seems to know an awful lot about corruption.