The parents who dared throw a strop back
ToughTough parenting: How we first reported the story last month friends and invariably missed the last bus home, which, because we live in a village, is at 6pm. Not only does he not bother to call to let us know, he also puts his phone on airplane mode to conserve the battery for social media, which means we can’t get through when we try to call him.
Most evenings he contacts us eventually to ask for a lift home, but on one particularly awful night last month he neither rang nor came home, leaving me pacing the house all night. I assumed he was staying with a friend, so didn’t trouble the police, but I barely slept, in case I was wrong, and had to leave for work in Bristol at 5am the next day. I called home mid-morning to see if he’d turned up and his brother, Joe, said: ‘Oh Ben’s at his friend Billy’s house, I saw he posted something on Instagram from there.’
Of course I was hugely relieved, but also furious with Ben for being so utterly thoughtless.
His capacity for self-absorption is his worst flaw, he never thinks about the impact of his behaviour on his family — or our pets. For instance, I’ll leave instructions for him to feed the cat and take the dog for a walk before I go to work and he totally forgets.
Over the holidays he’s also become nocturnal, awake until 3am messaging friends from his phone and then in bed until lunchtime.
Worse still, he wakes his father and I, who have to be up early for work, by selfishly brushing his teeth in the bathroom next door to our bedroom — because he prefers it to the one next to his. He has two sets of bunk beds in his room, for when his friends stay over, and infuriates me by sleeping in a different bed every night, so I end up having to wash four lots of bedding.
When I tell him off, he doesn’t generally argue, he agrees and promises not to do it again — but then he always does it again!
I think adolescents come out the other end when they’re 19 and you get your darling child back again — so I can see why some people send their children away to boarding school . . .
BEN SAYS:
I DON’T do any of the things Mum gets cross about on purpose, I just forget to feed the cat or let her know when I’m staying at a friend’s house.
I wouldn’t do it out of spite, I’m just not very organised so sometimes forget to do things. I think my parents will be happier when I’m back at school and things return to normal.
BEN’S RAP SHEET:
1. Staying out all night without telling us. 2. Repeatedly missing the last bus home and needing a lift. 3. Turning your phone to airplane mode so we can’t call. 4. Not feeding the poor cat. 5. Forgetting to take the dog for a walk. 6. Staying up half the night and waking us at 3am. 7. Sleeping in four different beds, creating a mountain of laundry. 8. Not making it home in time for family suppers.