The dastardly Mr Deedes

Curious timing for Tesco’s recently resolved spat with Unilever. The price-row bombshell was dropped the day before the Marmite maker posted third-quarter figures. The retailer’s silver crowned head honcho 51year-old Dave Lewis is no stranger to the consumer goods giant led by marathon runner Paul Polman, 60. ‘Drastic’ Dave earned his moniker over 27 years of cost cutting at his former employer. Could the tiff be personal? The Dutchman used to keep his executives on their toes by ‘inviting’ them to join him on his morning runs. Revenge is a dish served cold. Re: Polman the great man is prone to bouts of self-importance. A regular at the World Economic Forum he has justified his appearance at the upmarket ski resort saying: ‘I am attending Davos because there is simply too much at stake’. Also renowned for idiosyncratic utterances, financial updates are often lost in translation. On the economic recovery it has been all about the ‘green sprouts’ and when it comes to consumer goods they are not ‘easy-peasy Japanesey.’ Perhaps it’s not just the tea that’s herbal at Unilever. Hardly surprising that rough-cut Sports Direct boss Mike Ashley, 52, has lost another scalp. After an 18-month probation interim finance director Matt Pearson finally twigged the job was never going to be his and is hanging up his abacus, having been headhunted. The announcement just a week after a profit warning will be pure coincidence. But what’s surprised analysts most is the bean counter managed to find an employer willing to take him after forgetting to hedge the firm’s foreign currency pre-Brexit. Excitement from budget airline Norwegian. The Scandinavian carrier is digging deep to slap a giant picture of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory creator Roald Dahl on the tail fin of a Boeing 737-800. He is one of 80 ‘tail fin heroes’ who ‘symbolise the spirit of Norwegian’ and ‘has an aviation background’. Dahl was a fighter pilot in the Second World War. What Norwegian omit to tell passengers is he was posted to Libya and was almost killed in a plane crash. Canny Marks & Spencer boss Steve Rowe hatched an inspired plan to silence critics at the latest annual meeting. The jamboree is a magnet for humiliating attacks from well-meaning shareholders. The former M&S Saturday boy, 49, was determined to end the dressings-down. Questions about underpants and women’s fashion were history as Rowe turned on the charm. Chief troublemakers from years gone by were invited in and stuffed with high tea. The schmoozing worked, delivering an agreeable AGM. Amazing what can be achieved with a cucumber sarnie and a couple of tartlets.