Adele: My battle with post-natal depression
WATCHING her on stage in front of thousands singing her heart out, it is hard to imagine Adele being anything but confident and self-assured.
But the singer has now revealed that, behind her onstage persona, the reality couldn’t be more different.
In a candid interview, she has opened up about her how she battled post-natal depression after giving birth to her son, Angelo.
The ten-time Grammy winner admitted she suffered so badly with the condition, it has put her off having a second child.
The 28-year-old star’s confession comes four years after she had Angelo with her long-term partner, Simon Konecki, 42.
Talking to Vanity Fair magazine, Adele also hinted she may never tour again.
The singer – who is worth £65million – insisted she did not feel the need to earn any more money, and also laid bare her guilt at being away on tour and unable to tuck her son into bed at night.
Adele said: ‘Obviously not as much in my real life as the songs are, but I have a very dark side. I’m very available to depression. I can slip in and out of it quite easily.
‘It started when my granddad died, when I
‘I’d be fine if I never heard applause again’
was about ten, and while I never had a suicidal thought, I have been in therapy, lots. I had really bad postpartum depression after I had my son, and it frightened me.
‘My knowledge of postpartum – or post-natal, as we call it in England – is that you don’t want to be with your child; you’re worried you might hurt your child; you’re worried you weren’t doing a good job.
‘But I was obsessed with my child. I felt very inadequate; I felt like I’d made the worst decision of my life. But I haven’t had that feeling since I had my son and snapped out of my postpartum depression.’
The star says she did not take anti-depressants despite her partner encouraging her to seek help. Instead, she sought solace from friends experiencing similar problems, and gave herself one afternoon a week off, without the baby.
The two factors combined helped her beat the crippling condition which affects more than one in ten women within a year of giving birth.
Speaking about her ‘cure’, she adds: ‘ Eventually I just said, I’m going to give myself an afternoon a week, just to do whatever the f*** I want without my baby.
‘A friend of mine said, “Really? Don’t you feel bad?” I said, “I do, but not as bad as I’d feel if I didn’t do it.” Four of my friends felt the same way I did, and everyone was too embarrassed to talk about it; they thought everyone would think they were a bad mum, and it’s not the case.
It makes you a better mum if you give yourself a better time.’ Asked if she wanted more children, the Hello singer admitted she was in no hurry to add to her family.
She also does not feel the need because Angelo already has a half-sister from Mr Konecki’s previous marriage.
‘That’s my get- out- of-jail-free card,’ she added. ‘I’m too scared. I had really bad postpartum depre-sion after I had my son, and it frightened me.’ Almost all mothers will experience mood fluctuations within the first few days of giving birth. But post-natal depression can persist for weeks, or even months, leaving the sufferer with a persistent feeling of tiredness, lethargy, loss of appetite and difficulty sleeping.
It is caused by a combination of hormones and the psychological and environmental changes brought about by birth.
Adele, born Adele Adkins in Tottenham, London, is currently midway through her sell- out tour in America, promoting her most recent album, 25.
But while she is performing in front of thousands of fans, she feels crippling guilt about the one per- son she often can’t see – her son. She said: ‘I’m enjoying touring, but at times I feel guilty because I’m doing this massive tour, and even though my son is with me all the time, on certain nights I can’t put him to bed.
‘ I never feel guilty when I’m not working. You’re constantly trying to make up for stuff when you’re a mum.’
However, the singer emphasized that she wasn’t touring because she wants to add to her already-substantial fortune.
She added: ‘I’m on tour simply to see everyone who’s been so supportive. I don’t care about money. I’m British, and we don’t have that thing of having to earn more money all the time. I don’t come from money; it’s not that important a part of my life.’
And she hinted that while she enjoys performing, she could easily do without it.
She said: I’d still like to make records, but I’d be fine if I never heard [the applause] again.
‘I love being famous for my songs, but I don’t enjoy being in the public eye. I love to make music, and I love doing shows, and I needed to go back to work – not for money but because something was missing. I wasn’t creating music.’