Ephraim Hardcastle
DURING a select committee grilling on the eu referendum, former Britain Stronger in europe boss Will Straw, 36, is asked about his controversial CBE by labour veteran Paul Flynn, 81, who inquires mockingly: ‘Can I ask you Mr Straw how you’re enjoying your role as Commander of the British empire – how fares the empire under your command?’ An embarrassed Straw said he didn’t ask for the honour, adding: ‘I wanted to have an occasion to take my wife to the Palace and will be doing so in the near future … and have something to remember the hard work I and others put into the campaign.’ So why’s Nigel Farage ignored by the honours creeps? He forced David Cameron to have a referendum. And won it. HERE’S selfabsorbed political editor Robert Peston displaying his dinner platesized poppy on ITV News, pictured. Is it a coincidence that ITV News’s managing editor Robin Elias d i stributed a message afterwards saying: ‘On-screen staff – traditional paper poppies only please…’ The story about Tory ex-deputy premier Michael Heseltine, 83, strangling his mother’s dog many moons ago after the Alsatian bit him has a curious modern echo. In the first episode of the us version of Netflix’s House of Cards, the ambitious politico Frank underwood, played by Kevin Spacey, strangles a neighbour’s dog after it is hurt in a road accident. By the way, the show’s executive producer is Michael Dobbs, a Tory peer and exadviser of Margaret Thatcher, whom Heseltine once tried to depose. TALKING about how he enjoys having been James Bond more times than fellow ex-007, grumpy Sir Sean Connery, sunny Sir Roger Moore says on Radio 2: ‘I’m very grateful to Bond. Sean just got fed up with his wife being called “Mrs Bond”.’ As for his own (fourth) spouse, Kristina Tholstrup, Sir Roger, 89, adds cheerily: ‘My wife rather likes it.’ EPICENE crooner Michael Bublé, 41, selects a Rolex watch as his chosen luxury on Radio 4’s Desert Island Discs. He would, wouldn’t he? He’s been an ‘ambassador’ for Rolex since 2011. Isn’t there a BBC rule about blatant advertising? SIR Cliff Richard, 76, who chatted to Prince Charles at this week’s Pride of Britain Awards, complains that the controversial police raid on his Berkshire home, carried out in collusion with the BBC, resulted in a treasured royal possession being confiscated – ‘a note Princess Diana wrote to me.’ And it has not been returned to him, he says. Might Charles have a word with the rozzers? SAUCY novelist Kathy lette, 57, briefs Good Housekeeping magazine about her kitchen credentials: ‘I use my smoke alarm as a timer and the last time I baked was when I fell asleep on a sunbed.’